Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Want To Be A Good Dad? Support Mom And Avoid Father’s Rights Groups

Want To Be A Good Dad? Support Mom And Avoid Father’s Rights Groups

Written by Trish Wilson

Over the past decade, fatherhood has been all the rage and dads are naturally the talk of pundits on Father’s Day. So let’s say you’re a divorcing dad and you’re having trouble coping. You look for help on the internet and discover the father’s rights movement.

Be warned – avoid father’s rights groups like the plague. According to the pro-feminist men’s group The National Organization For Men Against Sexism (NOMAS), “male supremacist groups (“Father’s Rights”) have caused unspeakable harm to our country and to our children by encouraging abusive fathers, often with little past involvement with their children, to seek custody as a tactic to pressure a mother to return or to punish her for leaving. “Shared parenting”, “friendly parent”, involvement of both parents and other concepts that seem fair and benevolent have instead been used to manipulate courts and legislatures to help abusive fathers.

For instance, women are routinely denied custody of their children after being classified as “unfriendly” for asserting that the husband has abused them or their children.” Father’s rights groups prey on confused men angry and sad over the break-up of their relationships by stoking their rage and insecurities. In addition, father’s rights groups encourage men to fight for custody of their children by using harmful tactics that further erode their relationships with their ex’s – and by extension their children.

How can a dad – unemployed or working outside the home – be a good father? Not by fighting for custody or demanding “shared parenting” after divorce or breakup. The best way a dad can be a good father is by providing support to the mother of his children, including both financial and emotional support. According to Florida attorney Elizabeth Kates, “a father’s most important role, and the one common “father factor” in all research that indicates any correlation between father involvement or presence and positive effect on child well-being is: a father who emotionally cares for, financially supports, respects, is involved with, takes some of the work load off of, and generally makes life easier, happier and less stressful for. . . his children’s mother.”

If dad wants to make sure his children thrive he must do whatever he can to ensure that their mother is thriving. Stop fighting for “shared parenting” or sole custody if you are in court. Don’t badmouth their mother. Stop hiring paid mouthpieces that tout the latest psychological theory to show that the children are best off with a dad who had never acted as their primary caregiver. I know this will piss off lots of men but it is the truth.

Don’t believe me? How about the research?

A seven-year study by Dallas’s Timberlawn Psychiatric Institute found the one factor that was the most important in helping children become healthy, happy adults, was the quality of the relationship between their parents. This one factor was more important than giving kids hugs, providing good discipline, building their self esteem, or any other aspect of what is traditionally considered ‘good parenting’.” Other studies found that “the strongest single factor associated with resiliency in early years is social attachment to a primary caregiver. There is considerable evidence linking secure attachment to social and academic competence and positive developmental outcomes, such as improved communication, problem-solving, social relationships and grades” and “the single most important determinant of child well-being after divorce is living in a household with adequate income.”

Even the National Fatherhood Initiative agreed with the mother-needs-support assessment when it found that “the best thing a dad can do for his children is love their mother.” Researcher Michael Lamb, known for his studies of fatherhood, noted that “…the warmer, the richer, the more supportive the relationship he has with the mother, the better he is able to be a supportive and loving father for the child.”

So dads, the message is clear. If you want your children to grow up to be happy and healthy adults, the best thing you can do for them is to make sure that their mother is comfortable, healthy, and happy. When primary caregiving moms thrive, children thrive. And happy children enjoy their fathers more.

FATHER Runs Over And Kills His Two Children With His Car

Robert Carter accused of hitting, killing his 2 kids with his car

DERMOTT, Ark. (KTHV) -- A Chicot County father is accused of hitting and killing his two young children with his car. It happened Sunday afternoon. Police say Robert Carter, 23, is expected to be charged with two counts of capital murder.
Crime tape and tire tracks are all that's left of a horrific scene in Dermott.
"Crazy tragedy. What pushes a person to that point?" says Chicot County Sheriff Ron Nichols.

He's been in law enforcement for more than 20 years and says he's never seen anything like it.
Nichols explains, "I feel so sorry for the kids and the mother, and the entire family."

He says 18-month-old Amoni Elasia Carter and her sister Nekole Carter, 4, were murdered Sunday afternoon. Their mother, Latasha Figures, 24, was injured.
"They were going across the yard and the dad came up in a yard and just run over them," explains Nichols.
Police say it happened not once, but twice. 
Carter is the children's father and mother's ex-boyfriend. He was reportedly driving about 25 to 30 miles an hour
Nichols says, "Backs up comes around and does it again from what I've been told."
Police say that's when the children's grandfather got a gun and shot Carter in the knee. Meanwhile, a motive is unclear. Police had never responded to a problem with the couple before. But Today's THV has learned there was a no contact order in place.
Sheriff Nichols says they hope to learn more once they can interview the mother. She's in stable condition at a Little Rock hospital.
"I don't know if there is closure," adds Nichols.
They are the first murders in the small town of Dermott in at least five years. It's a yard forever scarred, but the girl's memories police say not forgotten.
Nichols says, "My heart goes out to both sides of the family."
Deputies say Carter wasn't drunk. As for his mental state, police aren't saying. He is in the hospital under protective custody. He is recovering from a gunshot wound to the knee.

'Daddy had a big gun,' Fort Pierce toddler who witnessed murder-suicide tells police

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/fl-fort-pierce-killings-20110418,0,5410880.story

FORT PIERCE—

A 22-year-old pregnant woman and her 48-year-old mother were shot dead on Friday by the younger woman's live-in boyfriend, who then committed suicide, an initial police investigation has determined.

A 3-year-old girl, the child of the younger woman and the man, was the only person found alive when police arrived. A responding officer heard her say, "Daddy had a big gun," according to the police report. The child was uninjured.

"The child was in the house when the shooting occurred and unfortunately did witness this horrific incident," Fort Pierce police Sgt. Dennis McWilliams said in an email on Monday.

McWilliams, a police spokesman, said that the state Department of Children & Families had taken custody of the girl.

Investigators received a phone from the home on Quincy Avenue about 7 p.m. on Friday by a woman believed to be either Stephanie Carrier or her mother, Robin Carrier. Police arrived to find those two women and Christopher Covington, 25, all of the same address, dead with gunshot wounds to their heads.

Investigators believe that Covington became enraged and shot both women inside the home, then shot himself in the home's garage. Police said the motive for the shootings is still under investigation.

Police arrested Covington on Jan. 11 and charged him with aggravated domestic battery on a pregnant woman, after witnesses reported seeing him hitting Stephanie Carrier in the parking lot of the Fort Pierce Kmart store and, later, in a green Ford Explorer that Covington drove from the scene with Stephanie Carrier as a passenger.

Covington reportedly fled the vehicle on foot when police stopped it on Colonial Road. The couple's 3-year-old daughter and Stephanie Carrier, who had a bloody lower lip, remained in the truck.

According to the police report, Stephanie Carrier reportedly told officers that she and Covington had been together, on and off, for four years, that they had a 3-year-old daughter, and that she was currently three months pregnant with his child.

Stephanie Carrier refused to complete a victim statement, the police report noted. It also recorded that Stephanie Carrier told officers that Covington had never before hit her, but that Robin Carrier told police Covington had hit her daughter on at least one prior occasion.

Police apprehended Covington and charged him after a foot chase that ended at the intersection of Mayflower Road and Mayflower Lane. Asked by officers why he had struck Stephanie Carrier in front of their daughter and other witnesses, Covington reportedly said it was because she had been unfaithful to him.

On Friday, a neighborhood witness told police that she had heard five shots coming from the house.

The apparent double-murder and suicide remains under investigation.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Justice For Children WARNING: Don’t Fall for discredited “Parental Alienation Syndrome day” April 25th

Justice For Children WARNING: Don’t Fall for discredited “Parental alienation syndrome day”

For Immediate Release             Contact: John Hrabe

March 27, 2009                                                                                   (562) 276-5898

JUSTICE FOR CHILDREN WARNING: DON’T FALL FOR DISCREDITED “PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME DAY”

(Houston, TX) – Justice for Children, one of the country’s leading child advocacy organizations, issued a warning to all 50 Governors and state legislatures against the latest attempt to legitimize a dangerous pseudoscientific theory by designating April 25thas “Parental Alienation Syndrome Awareness Day.” Judges, prosecutors, psychologists and child advocates agree that parental alienation syndrome is “junk science” that abusive parents commonly use to shift attention away from their abuse. 

“Parental alienation syndrome has been debunked, disproven and discredited by every major group and association involved withchild abuse cases,” said Tom Burton, General Counsel of Justice for Children. “Even with nearly unanimous agreement, defense attorneys continue to propagate this bogus theory in order to protect abusive parents.”

Seventeen US states have issued proclamations honoring April 25th as “Parental Alienation Awareness Day.” This year, PAS radicals have targeted Texas Governor Rick Perry with an online petition. Child advocates like Justice for Children warn that such honorary proclamations give dangerous legal legitimacy to this debunked pseudoscientific theory.

The Children’s Protection Alliance shares on its website the story of Alanna Krause, one child affected by this bogus theory.

“Finally, one day my father threw me into a stone wall at school and a teacher called Child Protective Services. He’s never said as much, but my father panicked. He had worked so hard to build a delicate set of lies and twisted truths to present himself as the well-meaning parent whose “unstable” ex-wife had given his troubled daughter “alienating parent syndrome,” resulting in abuse “delusions.” The truth was his worst fear.”

The public can learn more about parental alienation syndrome from the attached fact sheet or by visiting the Justice for Children website at www.justiceforchildren.org.

For over two decades, Justice for Children has been the country’s leading voice for abused and neglected children. JFC provides free legal support for abused children, sponsors legislation to increase children’s right, and exposes the systemic failures of bureaucratic child welfare agencies.

###

 

Parental Alienation Syndrome: Debunked, Disproven and Dangerous Theory 

Abusive Parents Commonly Use PAS to Shift Attention Away from their Abusive Actions

National District Attorneys Association: Parental Alienation Syndrome is “Unproven Theory That Can Threaten the Safety of Abused Children”

“PAS is an unproven theory that can threaten the integrity of the criminal justice system and the safety of abused children. It is not capable of lending itself to hard data or inclusion in the forthcoming DSM-V.  In short, PAS is an untested theory that, unchallenged, can have far-reaching consequences for children seeking protection and legal vindication in courts of law. Prosecutors and other child abuse professionals should educate themselves, their colleagues and clients when confronting PAS in the legal realm.” (Source: National District Attorneys Association, Update – Volume 16, Number 6 & 7, 2003 “Parental Alienation Syndrome: What Professionals Need to Know”)

Parental Alienation Syndrome: “Unscientific Piece of Garbage,” “Not Research Based” & “A Great Injustice to the Family”

“Probably the most unscientific piece of garbage I’ve seen in the field in all my time. To base social policy on something as flimsy as this is exceedingly dangerous. PAS is not research-based, and it has done a great injustice to the family and the justice system.  The criteria that Dr. Gardner has developed are virtually useless. He operates on the premise that if you say a lie often enough, people will believe it.” (Source: Dr. Jon Conte, a psychologist at the University of Washington, “Has Psychiatry Gone Psycho” April 26, 1999, Insight on the News)

Past President of American Psychiatric Association: “Junk Science Used Nationwide by Batterers as a Courtroom Tactic to Silence Abused Children”

“Parental Alienation Syndrome has been used nationwide by batterers as a courtroom tactic to silence abused children by attempting to discredit their disclosures of abuse. This theory is not recognized as valid by the American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association, or the American Medical Association. Parental Alienation Syndrome is not accepted as a psychiatric diagnosis, and has been rejected by the mainstream psychological community. Parental Alienation Syndrome is junk science; there is no valid research or empirical data to support this unproven theory.”(Source: Dr. Paul J. Fink, past president of the American Psychiatric Association, and Hon. Sol Gothard, retired judge and former faculty member for the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, Los Angeles Daily Journal, November 1, 2005)

Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family: Parental Alienation Can Be Used by Violent Parent Against Victim

“Noting that custody and visitation disputes appear to occur more frequently when there is a history of domestic violence.  Family courts often do not consider the history of violence between the parents in making custody and visitation decisions.  In this context, the nonviolent parent may be at a disadvantage, and behavior that would seem reasonable as a protection from abuse may be misinterpreted as a sign of instability. Psychological evaluators not trained in domestic violence may contribute to this process by ignoring or minimizing the violence and by giving inappropriate pathological labels to women’s responses to chronic victimization.  Terms such as `parental alienation’ may be used to blame the women for the children’s reasonable fear or anger toward their violent father.” (Source: American Psychological Association, “Report of the APA Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family” 1996)

National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges: Parental Alienation Syndrome “Discredited by Scientific Community,” Should Be “Inadmissible in Court” & “Diverts Attention Away from the Behaviors of the Abusive Parent”

“The theory positing the existence of “PAS” has been discredited by the scientific community. In Kumho Tire v. Carmichael , 526 U.S. 137 (1999), the Supreme Court ruled that even expert testimony based in the “soft sciences” must meet the standard set in the Daubert case. “Parental Alienation Syndrome” does not pass this test. Any testimony that a party to a custody case suffers from the syndrome or “parental alienation” should therefore be ruled inadmissible. The discredited “diagnosis” of “PAS” (or allegation of “parental alienation”), quite apart from its scientific invalidity, inappropriately asks the court to assume that the children’s behaviors and attitudes toward the parent who claims to be “alienated” have no grounding in reality. It also diverts attention away from the behaviors of the abusive parent, who may have directly influenced the children’s responses by acting in violent, disrespectful, intimidating, humiliating and/or discrediting ways toward the children themselves, or the children’s other parent..” (Source: National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges. (2006). Navigating Custody & Visitation Evaluations in Cases with Domestic Violence: A Judge’s Guide, 2nd edition Page 24)

Professor of Pediatrics and Child Abuse Expert: Parental Alienation Syndrome is an “Atrocious Theory with No Science to Back It Up”

“Dr. Eli Newberger, a Harvard University Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, states, “This [parental alienation syndrome] is an atrocious theory with no science to back it up.” Harvard’s Dr. Eli Newberger, an assistant professor of pediatrics and an expert on child abuse, said he’s been called on by state child protection agencies to evaluate ambiguous disclosures of abuse in divorce casesand believes that PAS deflects any real investigation into such allegations.” (Source: Talan, J.  Richard Gardner and Parental Alienation Syndrome: In Death, Can He Survive? Psychiatrist Richard Gardner’s theory Used by Parents in Child Custody Battles Gained Prominence — And Critics. Newsday, 07/01/03.)

American Medical Association Does Not Recognize Parental Alienation Syndrome

“PAS is not listed in the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) as a psychiatric disorder and is not recognized as a valid medical syndrome by the American Medical Association, or the American Psychological Association.”(Source: Dr. Jon Conte, a psychologist at the University of Washington, “Has Psychiatry Gone Psycho” April 26, 1999, Insight on the News)

There have been numerous studies regarding Maternal Deprivation, with a large source of information coming from Bowlby, based on Spitz and Goldfarb, and also from unethical animal experimentation. Overwhelmingly, research shows that severing this natural bond between a mother and child causes severe emotional and behavioral problems, such as depression and psychosis. The phrase maternal deprivation is the terminology used in the early work of psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, John Bowlby on the effects of separating infants and young children from their mother. Some of the research was previously used to discourage mothers from working or using childcare, but it seems important to revive these studies as children are being deprived of their mothers intentionally by abusive men who claim to be “parentally alienated” in an ongoing scandal that rivals that of the Catholic Priest sexual abuse cover up. 

Maternal Deprivation Abuse (MDA), has been identified as occurring with great frequency in legal proceedings, with specific unethical lawyers, psychologists, and judges perpetrating the the same scam on mother after mother with similar horrific results for the children. There has been death by suicide, suicide attempts, depression, academic distress, retaliation by a child against a PAS claiming father, and untold misery for the victimized children and mothers.

Based on Bolwby’s theories, Maternally Deprivation affects children as follows:

  • Complete or almost complete deprivation could “entirely cripple the capacity to make relationships.”
  • Partial deprivation could result in acute anxiety, depression, neediness and powerful emotions which the child could not regulate.
  • The end product of such psychic disturbance could be neurosis and instability of character.(Bowlby J. (1951) pps. 11–12)

“Mother love in infancy and childhood is as important for mental health as are vitamins and proteins for physical health.” (Bowlby, 1953.)  Child psychoanalyst John Bowlby (1907–1990).

FATHER Slaughters his Family, Wife and Three Children (all under age of 4)- Marital Problems alluded too..

There is ALWAYS a “history” of ‘domestic’ or a divorce, or other legal action being sought or pending in all these cases where the father kills his wife and children. Entitlement at all costs. Ownership pure and simple—then, they blame MOM- for stressing DAD out with “marital problems”  or other—e.g. “She ran her face into his fist”.

This is what Father’s Rights- a Federally Funded program is creating—not More FATHER involvement—Just more FATHERS killing. More MOTHERS being stripped of their children, in any way—including death. Maternal Deprivation, Revenge Murders. Gee, thanks dad!

Dawn Atwater.OAK HARBOR -- Investigators are not releasing any details about what caused a Salem Township man to kill his wife and three of his children, then himself late Friday night.

Police believe Alan Atwater, 31, shot his wife Dawn, 30, and their children Ashley, who just celebrated her fourth birthday about two weeks earlier; Isaac Atwater, 2, and Brady Atwater, 1 1/2. Alan Atwater called the Ottawa County Sheriff's Office at 12:11 a.m. Saturday morning.

Brady Atwater.Ashley Atwater.Isaac Atwater.

"There's been a terrible accident at my house," Atwater matter-of-factly told a dispatcher. "My wife and three children are dead. Gunshot wounds, and I'm getting ready to kill myself right now."

The chilling call lasted only about 35 seconds.

Alan Atwater told the dispatcher he shot his family members, but ended the call as soon as she began asking him details of what happened.

Ottawa County Sheriff Bob Bratton said deputies arrived within minutes to the two-story farmhouse, but saw and heard no movement within the house. Bratton said the sheriff's office Special Response Team set up a perimeter for their own safety, noting that even with what Atwater said in the call, they couldn't be sure if it was a hostage situation -- or a set-up for an ambush.

Atwater's grandmother Joan Atwater, who lives only several hundred feet from the home, was listening to the police scanner when she heard deputies dispatched to the house. She tried to call 20 or 30 times, by her estimation, but got no answer.

Sheriff's deputies tried to reach Alan by phone. They also enlisted the assistance of Joan as they tried to contact Alan using loudspeakers. They received no answer with that, either.

At 2:52 a.m., SRT officers broke into the house and found the bodies in an upstairs bedroom. Brady was in bed; the remaining family members, including Alan, were on the floor. No note was found, Bratton said.

On Sunday, Bratton said investigators had been made aware of marital circumstances that may have caused problems, but declined to elaborate.

"We're more aware of certain situations than we're going to talk about early on in the investigation," Bratton said. "During the press conference yesterday, we still had investigators at the house."

More information will be made available after the investigation is complete, Bratton said.

In what turned out to be the last time Neil Atwater saw his grandson Alan, there was something about him that seemed a little off.

Neil's wife Joan described her grandson, 31, as a workaholic and the kind of person who was always there for his family, be it working the family farm, helping them through times of illness or helping her learn how to use a computer.

"He didn't act like Alan," Joan remembered Neil telling her Friday.

"Obviously, this is a tragedy," said Ottawa County Sheriff's Capt. Olen Martin. "The community is shocked."

Including Atwater's grandmother.

"I cannot believe this happened," Joan Atwater said. "I never expected something like this.

"We don't know what went on," she said. "He said they had marital problems, but we all have marital problems."

Bratton said Alan Atwater had no criminal history beyond traffic violations, and they were never called to any kind of domestic incident at the home.

Todd Schneider, spokesman for FirstEnergy, said Alan Atwater worked in the maintenance department at Davis-Besse Nuclear Power Station.

"He was a skilled craftsman and an instrument control technician," Schneider said.

While Schneider said FirstEnergy wouldn't release any more details on Atwater's employment Sunday, he did confirm that Atwater, as a condition of employment at Davis-Besse, had previously completed at least one psychological evaluation.

Bratton said Dawn Atwater didn't work outside the home.

Joan Atwater said her grandson also helped with the family farm run by her husband, whom Alan Atwater addressed not as "grandpa," but as "chief."

She said Dawn Atwater was a quiet person, but the children were starting to get chatty as they got older. Isaac always came up to her and tried to talk to her, she said.

"Ashley was getting older and a little more talkative," Joan Atwater said.

Atwater also had a 12-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, Bratton said.

Atwater and the girl's mother had joint custody, and she was in Lucas County this weekend, Bratton said.

On the social networking site Facebook, Dawn Atwater's profile features family photos, including her husband and children.

In one comment on the Atwaters' wedding photo, which features Alan, Dawn and Atwater's 12-year-old daughter, a friend asks why no one's smiling.

"Yeah, we were fighting on our wedding day!!!!" Dawn wrote.

The friend followed up with kind encouragement.

Bratton said he doesn't understand Alan Atwater's actions.

"The one thing I can't get over is that he chose this," Bratton said, going on to say there is help for every person in any given situation.

"This is just a tragedy," he said. "I am baffled how anyone could point a gun and kill a little child."

The case remains under investigation by the sheriff's office and the Ohio Bureau of Criminal Identification and Investigation.

Bratton said Sunday he wasn't certain if autopsies had been completed by the Lucas County Coroner's Office.

Funeral arrangements for all five Atwaters are pending at Crosser Funeral Home in Oak Harbor.

This is the second multiple murder in Ottawa County in six months. B.J. Liske was arrested and charged with the Halloween murders of his father, stepmother and stepbrother in their Benton Township home. Liske is at the Erie County Jail awaiting trial.

"For some reason, this is how people are finding a resolution to their problems," Bratton said. "I wish I had an answer, but I don't."

Email Vince Guerrieri at vguerrie@gannett.com.
Email James Proffitt at jproffit@gannett.com.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Why do Battered Women Stay with Their Abusers? - The Holly Collins Case

www.NoWayOutButOne.com

http://americanchildrenunderground.blogspot.com/2011/04/why-do-battered-women-stay-with-their.html

A few months after Holly Collins turned 22 years old she opened the front door of her family home in St Louis Park, Minnesota to Hennepin County Child Protection investigators. They made it known that they were aware of her husband’s abuse to her and her children, specifically citing a recent fracture to her little boy’s skull. This young mother was warned that if she didn’t flee immediately with her children and file for an Order For Protection her children would be removed from her care as well and there would be a procedure of Failure To Protect charges filed against her. This is one way to force a battered woman to leave her abuser and protect her children. One may think it is a bit harsh to threaten an abuse victim with criminal charges but perhaps necessary to protect her and her children.

It is incomprehensible that as a result of the Order For Protection, which was granted and forbade Mark Collins from abusing his wife and children, the father was simultaneously granted unsupervised visitation with the very children he abused. This girl, barely a woman couldn’t understand the ramifications of the family court system. Holly Collins sought out the Child Protection Investigators who forced her to take her children away from their abusive father and went directly to the Child Protection office in a panic begging them to protect her children. “This is why I stayed” She wept “At least I could protect the children MOST of the time. Now my children have to go alone with him and there is no one there to protect them.” The child protection desk agent was sympathetic but explained that once this battered woman took actions to protect her children and left her abuser the case was then transferred from Juvenile Court to Family Court and it was her duty as a mother to get the family court judge to protect her children.

In the meantime Holly’s young children would return from court ordered visitations battered and bruised. Holly’s little boy was treated by their pediatrician for injuries sustained from his father‘s abuse. The doctor’s report documents the bruises to the young lad and clearly states “Mother will be alert for abuse potential situation.” For 5 more years Holly Collins was alert and vigilant to protect her children but time after time and one court hearing after another Mark Collins somehow managed to convince the judge that Holly was trying to “Alienate” him from his children’s lives. Eventually a family court judge instructed Holly to take the children to the Boston Children’s Hospital to be evaluated by the Child Abuse Trauma Team and he simultaneously ordered a custody evaluation. Both Dr. Eli Newberger and the entire investigative team at the Boston Children’s Hospital found that the children and their mother were severely abused by the father. Back in Hennepin County the Family Court Investigator also confirmed domestic violence but conceded that Holly’s fear of her husband was although unwittingly was indeed interfering in the children’s relationship with their father. And just like that custody was reversed to the very man who terrorized, beat and battered this woman and her children.

Holly eventually fled the country with her children and was the first American citizen granted asylum in the Netherlands. After 14 years in hiding she was found by the FBI. After a lengthy investigation All international and domestic kidnapping charges were dismissed. When questioned by reporters in the lobby of the Minneapolis Court House Holly Collins responded that the biggest mistake she ever made was leaving her abuser.

Is this really the message we want to send to abuse victims?

written by Jennifer Collins

Friday, April 15, 2011

Claudine Dombrowski--Insanity? Nope. Family Court in Kansas

http://www.helpmomsprotect.com/id12.html

Help Moms Protect

Help MOMS Protect---Claudine Dombrowski

Open Letter

High Profile Mothers

***Claudine Dombrowski

cc4.jpg

Please carefully view these pictures.  Notice the bruises on her arms above her wrists on both arms.  Do they look like this was a mutual fight or are those marks of trying to defend herself against the brutality inflicted on her?

cc4.jpg

cc4.jpg

cc4.jpg

Insanity? Nope. Family court in Kansas


Imagine that your home was broken into, vandalized and burglarized one night. You were roughed up and tied up while he ransacked your home. Fortunately, he left you shaken and hurt, but not seriously injured such as to require hospitalization. You were successfully able to identify him and his vehicle as he sped away.
Upon your call to the police, the offender is apprehended with the goods in his possession and brought to court to stand trial for his crimes against you.
You arrive in court and the first thing the judge asks you is if you are willing to go to mediation with the burglar. When you refuse, the judge labels you ‘uncooperative’ and ‘hostile’ to the burglar's continued relationship with you. Even though the burglar was caught red-handed with your goods, and you were an eye witness to the crime, the judge now decides that he can't possibly decide the case without first appointing a social worker termed a "burglary evaluator"
to assess yours and the burglar's relationship.


When the social worker/evaluator can not determine what is best for your relationship or your stolen goods, they ask the judge to have both you and the burglar psychologically evaluated, because you seem "anxious", "angry" and "uncooperative" with the burglar. The court-appointed psychologist, who has no experience in being the victim of violent crime and has not studied the effects of such trauma, also determines that you are uncooperative, hostile, anxious, and you
have a negative opinion of the burglar that can't be healthy. After all, the burglar had nothing but good things to say about you, your home and your belongings during his evaluation.


The psychologist recommends that you be restricted from access to your belongings until you can accept the burglar's rightful relationship to continued access to your home and personal effects. He further recommends you attend weekly conjoint therapy with the burglar to work on being more cooperative with him in the future.
All at your expense of course.


The judge decides to wait a year or so to see how you work through your relationship with the burglar before he can decide upon the burglary conviction. He chastises you that you had better really work at the relationship or he may just grant the burglar's request to maintain sole ownership of your property. None of these "experts" can be sued civilly for their negligence and incompetence because they have judicial or quasi-judicial immunity.
Insanity? Nope. Family court in Kansas.


Domestic violence victims walk into family court to ask a judge to protect their children from a known abuser. Instead, they face the above-described nightmare that can span years and put them into financial ruin, mental and emotional exhaustion, not to mention directly back into the path of the abuser. Judges pressure them to mediate, assign a custody evaluator who pressures them to accept 50/50 joint physical and legal custody with theirs and their children's abuser.
They and their children are put through psychological evaluations by persons with little to no training in domestic violence, and some judges force co-parenting therapy and reunification therapy upon mother and child with their perpetrators. If they can not fit into the mold of cooperative "co-parenting" and the children continue to be reluctant to visit with the man that abused them, they face losing custody to him.


We have spent millions of dollars printing brochures and making public service announcements to victims of domestic violence encouraging them to leave violent relationships and telling them of the harmful effects on their children.


But when they do get the courage to leave, the same system tells them they are wrong to try to protect their children once they have divorced their abuser, and that they should now fully and freely support unsupervised visitation with the same dangerous person. Contrary to popular belief, children of batterers can be at just as much risk psychologically, sexually, and even physically after the couple splits up as they were when the family was still together. In fact, many children experience the most damaging victimization from the abuser at this point.


Most people assume that a fit mother never loses custody. If only that were true. The American Judges Association reports that "Studies show that batterers have been able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases." Unfortunately, the state of Kansas’s current laws also says that none of these people can be held accountable, either.
And so we go on, handing down family violence from one generation to the
next...

KMFCJ-founded by Claudine Dombrowski,a Protective Parent and survivor of Domestic Violence and systemic abuse. The goals of KMFCJ is to publish informed news releases, links and commentaries relating to protective parents and their children who continue to be victimized by the abuser and or the court system.
www.AngelFury.org

Kansas Mothers For Custodial Justice BLOG|Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories-Abusers getting custody

‘An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.”-Gandhi - All rights reserved

KANSAS

CLAUDINE DOMBROWSKI CASE, Shawnee County, Kansas. Claudine lost custody of her baby daughter  to  the man who did this, thanks to Judge James P. Buchele, who refused to permit adequate testimony at trial, shortening it to benefit his docket, and also ordered Claudine to move back to Topeka to live near the man who did this, for the sake of their "co-parenting." WHAT?! He is a man with multiple criminal convictions for violent behavior (Battery, Attempted Battery, Battery of a Law Enforcement Officer, Obstruction of Legal Process, Possession of Marijuana and violation of Open Container law), a man who has beaten and raped Claudine multiple times before and after her divorce from him, a man who has threatened to kill her and her child.
            Worse, Judge Buchele also ordered Claudine not to call the police any more without the permission of her case manager. When Judge James Buchele retired, Judge Richard D. Andersonaffirmed Buchele's previous orders, including the illegal prohibition on Claudine's being able to call the police. 
Guardian ad litem Scott McKenzie deserves a substantial portion of the credit for this travesty. I ask, how in hell can this happen in the United States of America?

The following is from  Stopfamilyviolence.org   Please visit there site.

Claudine Dombrowski - Kansas

Claudine was a psychiatric LPN. Now she is disabled and though a cane is medically indicated, she continues to be mobile on her own. The father owns his own business in Topeka. The abuse started when she was four months pregnant when she found out he was married to another woman. The child was already 11 months old before they were married in late 1995. Four months after marrying, the father filed for divorce in March 1996. In May 1996, mother asked for permission to move with the child to another city in Kansas because of the closing of a hospital where she worked. She had obtained employment in the other city and it would help her escape from his unremitting violence. Permission to move was granted. Four days later, father filed to change custody of the child to him.

During the course of the litigation, he admitted hitting Claudine and that it was a reason for her to leave the home but claimed it was not the reason she left every time. He admitted he told her to leave, pushed her out of the home, and paid no child support. He admitted to twisting her leg and scratching her face. According to her, he beat her 2 - 3 times a week. He pointed and cocked a shot gun at her while she was feeding the baby. He cut up her military uniform. He beat her when the baby dirtied the house. She was kicked out, locked out and would leave 3-4 times a week to escape the violence. Often she was gone for 2-3 weeks to maintain her safety and that of the child. Though she had a perfectly valid reason to leave and was in fact protecting the child, court personnel later used that to claim she would hide the child and therefore he should have custody.

In one incident, he hit her in the head so severely she required 14 internal stitches and 14 external stitches. When the court questioned the parties about this on the stand, the judge was far more worried about where it happened and who was telling the truth than the admitted and verifiable fact that he did hit her in the head with an object that left that much damage. Whether he hit her in the head with a big stick in his driveway or he hit her in the head with a tire iron in her apartment – he hit her in the head resulting in severe injury. The judge however lectured both parties about lying. See Exhibit 1 for photos of the petitioner after beatings by the child’s father.

While the father admitted the abuse, he claimed it was mutual combat. However not only did she have a protection order against him, but the man has eight criminal convictions - three convictions for domestic violence against her, a conviction for a bar fight, a conviction for assaulting a police officer, a conviction for obstruction of justice, one for possession of marijuana and one for driving under the influence. Pursuant to his various convictions, he was ordered to attend alcohol treatment – he didn’t. He was ordered to a psychiatric evaluation – he didn’t go. He was ordered to anger management classes but was asked to leave because of his inappropriate behavior. Domestic violence professionals know that anger management is not a suggested treatment modality for domestic violence perpetrators.

Court personnel not only were blind to the violence, they were completely ignorant of safety issues for the mother and child. Dr. Bernie Nobo, a licensed social worker, testified that it was a volatile situation. He actually had to stop the father from assaulting the mother in a meeting. Still he said there was no danger to the child but suggested she might hide to protect herself. In fact, that would be a very sensible thing to do. He diagnosed her as primarily depressed and the father as adjustment disorder with mixed emotional features (depression or anxiety). Not only is depression a reasonable response to the situation, but as a social worker, he is not qualified to make such diagnosis. Nobo did say her parenting was fine and he recommended supervised visitation to father.

The court services officer knew of the domestic violence and in fact listed it as the biggest concern. But rather than deal with the perpetrator, she suggested that the child should be put into foster care – thereby punishing the child who would lose a perfectly good loving and protective mother and would punish the mother for being a victim of abuse. The officer claimed the mother was a risk to run though she admitted she had never had any trouble contacting her. The officer was more concerned that the father have access to the child than the safety of the child or the mother.

Kansas statutes require joint custody unless there is a reason for sole and the GAL recommended custody to father because he lived near the court while mother had moved out of town (with the court’s permission) and he wanted to keep this child near the other three step-children from other marriages of the father. The GAL never talked to the mother or child, to the day care or the child’s physician nor did he do a home study. The GAL said the violence was so far fetched he didn’t believe it though he only knew of one conviction for DUI and never talked to the battered women’s shelter. Astonishingly, the GAL recommended the mother go to anger management classes.

On April 17, 1997 during a settlement conference, the mother was stunned by her own attorney suggesting she agree to a joint custody arrangement with a man she knew to be extremely dangerous. Her lawyer and the judge threatened the mother that he would grant sole custody to the father because allegedly she would not work together with him. This of course completely discounts the impossibility of working with a man as violent as this perpetrator. Though admitting that the violence lessened when she moved away, the judge said he would give shared custody only if she moved back to Topeka where the father lived and where the violence occurred. Forcing her to resettle in Topeka near the perpetrator, a routine practice of family courts, is the state forcing her directly into danger. It is a violation of the fundamental rights of life, safety and to be free from torture and other maltreatment. Essentially the court required the mother to give up her right to life and safety for custody of child. She did. Only to lose custody as well. She agreed to the settlement only to change attorneys and file a motion to set aside four days later.

In 1998, the child's doctor reported the child had very poor hygiene when staying with father. The day care provider reported a change in her behavior after being with the father. She became either withdrawn or aggressive. A nurse requested an investigation of psychological abuse because of his treatment of the child.

On 31 July 2000, without any motion from either party and without a hearing, the judge simply issued an order that the mother had to relocate to Topeka if she wanted any possibility of obtaining custody. She did so but then in August, the judge ordered the child to remain with the father. In December 2000, supervised visitation was ordered for mother because she had allegedly returned the child late to the fathers over Christmas. They suspended all contact for several months and then she was allowed two hours a week supervised. The bizarre behavior of the courts was evident from as early as 1998 when they granted a divorce twice as evidenced by their own records – April 17 and October 28, 1998.

At the time of this filing, the mother had supervised visits once a week after having had no contact for 10 months based on an ex parte order without an evidentiary hearing issued 3 February 2004. At time of this filing, the mother had last seen the child on 15 April 2007 for one hour.

Over these 11 years of litigation, the judge was changed several times. One judge limited each side to five witnesses at trial and then continued to call them liars when they could not prove what they had said or disprove what the other had said because they were prohibited from calling witnesses. While the judge chastised the father for game playing in the court, he then berated the mother for not coming to agreement with the father. He could see how unreasonable the father was and the judge was not subject to violence from the man but yet he blamed the mother for not reaching an agreement. He said any child in this situation would grow up damaged but then blamed the mother rather than the father who was the one committing the violence. The judged focused on the mother’s move to escape the violence rather than the harm of the violence itself. The court excluded evidence of his extensive criminal record, medical records and other records of violence. In addition to mother, other witnesses knew of the violence and that the child witnessed it. But still the court saw no danger to the child.

In spite of an order of protection against the father and his eight criminal convictions, three against her, one judge said it was mutual violence and besides she provoked it. He said there was no evidence that the father mistreated the children and ordered joint custody and both parties to anger management. She was ordered not to call law enforcement about the father without getting permission of the case manager. In other words, he could assault her freely and she was not allowed to even call the police. She was told to stop gathering evidence against the father. In March 2005, she was ordered not to file any more motions in the court without permission from the case manager – she had filed a motion to remove that case manager. In other words, she was even denied access to the court.

ex parte order without an evidentiary hearing issued 3 February 2004. At time of this filing, the mother had last seen the child on 15 April 2007 for one hour.

Over these 11 years of litigation, the judge was changed several times. One judge limited each side to five witnesses at trial and then continued to call them liars when they could not prove what they had said or disprove what the other had said because they were prohibited from calling witnesses. While the judge chastised the father for game playing in the court, he then berated the mother for not coming to agreement with the father. He could see how unreasonable the father was and the judge was not subject to violence from the man but yet he blamed the mother for not reaching an agreement. He said any child in this situation would grow up damaged but then blamed the mother rather than the father who was the one committing the violence. The judged focused on the mother’s move to escape the violence rather than the harm of the violence itself. The court excluded evidence of his extensive criminal record, medical records and other records of violence. In addition to mother, other witnesses knew of the violence and that the child witnessed it. But still the court saw no danger to the child.

In spite of an order of protection against the father and his eight criminal convictions, three against her, one judge said it was mutual violence and besides she provoked it. He said there was no evidence that the father mistreated the children and ordered joint custody and both parties to anger management. She was ordered not to call law enforcement about the father without getting permission of the case manager. In other words, he could assault her freely and she was not allowed to even call the police. She was told to stop gathering evidence against the father. In March 2005, she was ordered not to file any more motions in the court without permission from the case manager – she had filed a motion to remove that case manager. In other words, she was even denied access to the court.

The complete failure of the court to protect the victim continued after father received custody. When she complained that the father forced her to have sex if she wanted to see the child, the case manager said that it was just part of co-parenting so deal with it.

She appealed twice to the Supreme Court of Kansas. In the appeal, she alleged not just for herself but that the policies and procedures of the Kansas courts denied the right to a full and fair hearing, denied equal protection and due process, and violated fundamental rights. She first filed in 1997, the appellate court affirmed the lower court in 1998 and the Supreme Court rejected review in 1999. She appealed again in 1999 and again the appellate court affirmed the lower court in 2000.

In July 2002, mother again regained unsupervised visitation.

On 25 August 2003, Claudine was attacked with a hammer and her arm broken by Kathleen Sales. Sales later admitted she was paid by the father who assured her no charges would be filed. They weren’t.

On 3 February 2004, false allegations were made against mother that she sought to have harm done to the father. The mother objected to the order and asked for an evidentiary hearing. The request was never even heard. By March 2005, mother had only supervised visitation that has remained to this day.

In March 2002, Dr. Dale did an evaluation for unsupervised visits with mother and recommendation for therapy. The evaluation cost $5,000 and father admitted violence and the mother was found not to be any danger to the father or child. She was however ordered to shut down her web site that she had constructed. On the website she expressed her opinion and her facts about the case and the danger the child was being put into by the court. In a second order later, she was ordered to remove the child’s photo from another website. After this evaluation, she had unsupervised visitation from May 2002 until 3 February 2004.

Repeatedly when father files motions, they are heard with negative consequences for mother and child based on the flimsiest of evidence or none at all. But when mother files motions, they are never even heard. A home study ordered into the father’s home in February 2006 was never done. On 14 April 2006, the court held a conference in chambers and refused to allow the mother to attend. The court changed the orders from a home study of father to a study of mother to assess her risk to the child. The evaluation found no risk and was positive for mother. Still supervised visitation was not changed.

In a hearing on 10 April 2007, the mother has asked yet again that the child be protected from abuse and at least she have unsupervised visitation. Again the court refused. The child spoke out in 2003 and three CPS reports have been filed but in all three, they claimed that the mother coached the child who is now 12 and certainly able to speak for herself and punished both mother and child by restricting visitation time further. The lesson is clear – don’t report abuse.

The latest in Claudine's own words except we remove the child's name per court order.

 

The written testimony that you have was filed at the inter American commission human rights known as Dombrowski v us 2007 For the Policy and procedure of Family/Juvenile Courts routinely placing battered mothers children with abuser and pedophiles. The Court’s record is complete, as well as a simple Google search of my name for any more information and court records on this case alone are available as they are to massive to even begin to present.

My name is Claudine Dombrowski, I am a US Army Veteran. I was a psychiatric nurse for thirteen years with the state of Kansas and the VA. Until December 2000 when I was placed on 100% physical disability related to violence inflicted by the batterer.

In May of 1996 I was given permission to relocate to western Kansas to avoid the unremitting violence that I and my daughter suffered at the hands of the batterer, this was after I had been beaten with a crow bar, by an admitted and convicted batterer.

In July 200o without any motion from any party the Judge simply on his own issued a 11 page Order by ‘snail mail’ giving complete custody of my 6 year old daughter to a man known to have a violent drug and alcohol addiction past.

In a hearing on 10 April 2007, the mother has asked yet again that the child be protected from abuse and at least she have unsupervised visitation. Again the court refused. The child spoke out in 2003 and three CPS reports have been filed but in all three, they claimed that the mother coached the child who is now 12 and certainlyable to speak for herself and punished both mother and child by restricting visitation time further. The lesson is clear – don’t report abuse.

In May 2007, I was enrolled automatically into the states Address confidentiality program Safe at home- a program administered by the secretary of state for victims of Domestic Violence-thereby protecting at least my address from the Abuser and the Courts by proxy.


In June 2007 the courts denied my daughter to see her grandmother for the last time (in supervised vists) related to her terminal illness- Grandmother had made her last trip to Kansas with child’s dog to say good bye to all her grandchildren- all except child ; however they did allow the dog to visit child.


November 4th 2008 The courts denied child to go to her grandmothers funeral. And further gave the batterer complete control in allowing mother to see child under the strict supervised visitation that had been implemented this past 11 years.


October 2009 Claudine spoke on a local television station regarding Domestic Violence. The next day, she was held in contempt of the court and her rights to see her daughter have been suspended.

I have never been shown to be a threat or harm to my daughter- yet for the last 11 years I have not been able to see her past the confines of extremely structured supervised visits at best when I have been allowed to see her. There are numerous psychiatric reports on the courts file that state that I am not a threat or harm to my daughter quite contrary to that of the well documented violence and substance abuse of the perpetrator.

Then points to add in: to the written testimony are the illegal 2000 custody switch after a 6 year litigation.

Keeping in mind that the this man had 8 criminal convictions of violence

· 2000 custody switch

· My mother was denied to see her granddaughter for her last visit as her health would preclude any future visits- my child in 2007- they did let the dog however

· In fall 2008 my mother died Rikki was not allowed to go to funeral

· Last week attys called DC iachr

· Abusers has 8 criminal convictions et el

· Ten years in SUPERVISED visits

Current order of the Courts and my sentence for contempt Dec 16th reads.

11/13/2009

-

MISC. Petitioner in person and by Don Hoffman. Respondent in person and by Robert E. Duncan, II. G.A.L., Jill Dykes, in person. Court Reporter: Digital Div. 13. Matter comes before Court on Respondent's motion for unsupervised visitation and Petitioner's motion for contempt. Parties have agreed that motion for contempt will be deferred pending Petitioner's locating and removing all referenced items to the minor child on the internet. Matter to be reset if disagreement between the parties about removal of items referring to minor child and her likeness from internet. Court interview minor child - no record per agreement of the parties. Court suspends parenting time of Respondent due to Respondent's continued use of her website and the internet to publish photographs of minor child and statements reference minor child. Court will entertain motion to reinstate parenting time once Respondent deletes all photographs and likenesses of minor child, any reference to minor child on her website and the internet, agree not to discuss Court proceedings with minor child and not to discuss divorce with minor child. Review set for December 16, 2009, at 10:00 a.m. T. Duncan to do JE. DBD

Click for court documents

Click for Breaking the Silence