Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Kansas State University: NON-CUSTODIAL MOTHERS: THEMATIC TRENDS AND FUTURE DIRECTIONS

 

Non-custodial Mothers: Thematic Trends and Future Directions

Michelle Bemiller 1*

1 Kansas State University

Copyright © 2008 Blackwell Publishing Ltd

Sociology Compass 2/3 (2008): 910–924, 10.1111/j.1751-9020.2008.00117.x

ABSTRACT

The non-custodial mother is an anomaly. She does not live with her children on a full-time basis, putting her outside of the dominant expectations associated with motherhood. Although there has been an increase in the number of non-custodial mothers in recent years, information on the experience of being a non-custodial mother is minimal. The majority of our knowledge of non-custodial mothers stems from research conducted during the mid-1980s through the 1990s. This research was primarily descriptive in nature, lacking theoretical density. This article provides an overview of research completed on non-custodial mothers over the past two decades, with attention to the family and the role of the courts. After reviewing past research, the current state of the field is discussed, and future research directions are suggested.


DIGITAL OBJECT IDENTIFIER (DOI)

10.1111/j.1751-9020.2008.00117.x About DOI

Article Text

For well over two decades, scholars have examined the connection between being a woman and motherhood (Schur 1984; Glenn 1994; Hays 1996). Early research examined the quality of mothering and its effects on children. More recent research has focused on mothers’ activities and the meaning attached to motherhood, drawing attention to the intensive nature of mothering in western society (Hays 1996; Arendell 2000). Feminist scholars have critiqued this literature, arguing that our knowledge of mothers has been based on a white, heterosexual woman’s point of view (Collins 1990;Glenn 1994). As a result, recent motherhood scholarship has drawn attention to mothers who do not fit the dominant ideology of motherhood–mothers of color, working mothers, single mothers, lesbian mothers, and non-custodial mothers, to name a few. These mothers, often referred to as resistant mothers, do not fit neatly into the intensive motherhood paradigm (Garey 1999; Glenn 1994; Hill Collins 1987).

One such mother, the non-custodial mother, is the subject of this article. Although it is true that women still receive custody of children in the majority of custody cases, the custodial father has become more visible over the years. Despite the increase in the number of non-custodial mothers, little information exists on this population as Arditti and Madden-Derdich (1993), Arditti (1995), Fischer and Cardea (1981), and Greif (1987a, 1997) have noted. In an attempt to synthesize the scholarship on non-custodial mothers, this article provides an overview of research completed on non-custodial mothers over the past two decades, drawing attention to shifts in the scholarly coverage of these women. After reviewing past research, the current state of the field is discussed, and future research directions are suggested.

Non-custodial mothers: The 1980s and 1990s

The structure and content of research on non-custodial mothers is the product of social and political forces operating from decade to decade. The majority of our knowledge of non-custodial mothers stems from research completed during the mid-1980s through the 1990s (see Arditti 1995; Arditti and Madden-Derdich 1993; Babcock 1997; Chesler 1986; Christensen et al. 1990; Clumpus 1996; Dolan and Hoffman 1998; Edwards 1989; Ferguson 1994; Fischer 1983; Fischer and Cardea 1981; Fox and Kelly 1995;Furstenburg et al. 1983; Greif 1987a, b; Greif 1997; Greif and Pabst 1988; Herrerias 1984; Herrerias 1995; Hetherington 1993; Maccoby and Mnookin 1992; Meyers and Lakin 1983; Rosen and Etlin 1996; Santora and Hays 1998, Stewart 1999a, b; Zuravin and Greif 1989). During this time, fathers started to receive custody of children in increasing numbers, placing non-custodial mothers under the social microscope. As indicated by the title of Harriett Edwards’ (1989) book, as more and more mothers lost or gave up custody of their children, the question on the minds of society was, How Could You? These thoughts, of course, were intimately connected with the notion that mothers should have primary custody of their children because of their nurturing and loving characteristics – these notions still permeate our society today, affecting the actions of both mothers and fathers. As a case in point, Cowdery and Knudson-Martin’s (2005) qualitative analysis of 50 couples pointed to an unequal division of childcare labor between mothers and fathers. This division of labor was created based on idealized beliefs about motherhood. As a result, mothers were intimately connected with children, whereas fathers were encouraged to step aside (see also Aldous et al. 1998). In these families, and within society at large, this lesser involvement of fathers was expected and tolerated (see also Hochschild 1989) because of the belief that mothers should, by virtue of their gender, be the primary caretakers of children. For mothers who do not have custody of their children, this ideology is problematic on a personal and social level.

In an attempt to better understand these mothers’ experiences of custody loss as well as their individual experiences as non-custodial mothers, scholarly research increased in the social sciences. The focus of this research ranged from individual experiences of mothers (i.e., social judgments and relationships with children) to structural processes that influenced women’s experiences (i.e., reasons for relinquishment and letter of the law).

One structural change that has led to women’s loss of custody is the family courts’ movement toward gender neutrality. The movement toward a gender neutral custody process emerged in the family courts around 1970 and gained momentum during the 1980s (Fox and Kelley 1995). Gender neutrality – the idea that both mothers and fathers can equally parent their children – challenged the historical notion that mothers are better suited to care for young children emotionally and physically than fathers (i.e., ‘the tender years doctrine’). As more women entered the workforce and the culture began to open up regarding parental roles, fathers started to become more active in caregiving. As a result, in family court, it was no longer assumed that mothers were the better parent and fathers began to seek and gain custody in increasing numbers (Fox and Kelley 1995; Greif and Pabst 1988; Greif 1995; Thompson 1983).

According to Chesler (1986), the by product of this ‘gender-neutral approach’ was a court system that privileged fathers’ rights over mothers’ rights as judges expressed their approval of fathers’ involvement while at the same time scrutinizing mother’s maternal responsibilities. Fathers’ suitability as custodial parents was further endorsed when economic stability was added into the equation. In a study completed for the American Bar Association, Mason (1997) found that custody decisions mentioned economic stability 46.5% of the time. Generally speaking, men have an economic advantage over women, putting women in a precarious position in custody cases.

Research by Babcock (1997), Chesler (1986), Greif and Pabst (1988), and Herrerias (1984, 1995) rigorously examined the experiences of non-custodial mothers through the lens of social psychology, social work, and symbolic interactionism. These works contributed a great deal to what we know about non-custodial mothers’ experiences during the 1980s on both an interpersonal and structural level. These are notable exceptions to what consisted mostly of descriptive studies that provided a great deal of background information about women’s experiences, but failed to rigorously examine women’s experiences through a theoretical lens.

Methodologically speaking, it is important to point out that the research completed during this time varied tremendously. Some studies used quantitative data collection methods, yielding large samples of non-custodial mothers (see Greif and Pabst 1988;Herrerias 1984), whereas other studies used qualitative methods involving interviews with small samples of non-custodial mothers (see Clumpus 1996; Ferguson 1994 for two examples of qualitative scholarship). In addition, differences also existed regarding survey instruments used during data collection (see Greif and Pabst 1988; Herrerias 1984). Because the quality and specificity of the data within these studies varied significantly, caution must be taken when comparing studies to one another.

That having been said, the studies completed during the 1980s and 1990s provided much needed insight into the lives of non-custodial mothers. Research focused on social beliefs about non-custodial mothers, reasons for relinquishing custody of children, relationships with children, adjustment to the status of non-custodial mother, and the family courts.

SOCIAL JUDGMENTS

Studies during the 1980s and 1990s indicated that non-custodial mothers experienced a great deal of social stigma because of the loss of their children. In a comparison study of custodial (n = 14) and non-custodial mothers (n = 17), Fischer and Cardea (1981) found that mothers, regardless of their custodial status, felt that society had a negative view of women who had relinquished custody of their children. This study also found that over half of the non-custodial mothers had received negative reactions from friends and family due to the loss of their children.

In 1983, Fischer polled 34 respondents from the human development and family studies faculty as well as graduate students at a university in West Texas regarding attitudes toward couples with children and couples living childfree lifestyles (i.e., homosexual couples, cohabiting heterosexual couples, empty nest couples, married couples without children, couples who lost children to accidents, and non-custodial parents). Using a 7-point scale, respondents were asked to rank the categories on two dimensions: whether the situation was common or uncommon in society and whether society approved or disapproved of this lifestyle. Findings indicated that respondents thought society most disapproved of homosexual couples and non-custodial mothers.

In her study of 100 mothers, Edwards (1989) reported mixed results regarding non-custodial experiences. Some of the women in her study spoke of being stigmatized by family, friends, and acquaintances, whereas others pointed to the strong support that they received from people in their lives. Thus, not all women incurred harsh judgments because of their status.

Ferguson (1994) used two case studies to highlight the experience of being a non-custodial mother. Using these two cases as well as past literature, Ferguson pointed out that women are prepared for the role of mother through gender socialization from an early age. Furthermore, the mothers are blamed for children’s pathologies, are expected to be self-sacrificing, and experience inequality when they work in the paid labor force. These stereotypes, and the outcomes from these stereotypes, led to negative evaluations of non-custodial mothers and also affected women’s choices when relinquishing custody (see also Babcock 1997). Accordingly, Ferguson recommended support groups to help non-custodial mothers adjust to this role.

Using one on one interviews obtained through Mothers Apart from Their Children (MATCH), Clumpus (1996) explored the lives of 10 non-custodial mothers. Her goal was to understand how the social construction of non-custodial mothers as ‘unfit’ parents affected these women’s self-perceptions. Clumpus (1996) found that the non-custodial mothers in her sample perceived themselves as deficient and blamed themselves for their non-custodial status. Because of these perceptions, the mothers separated themselves from their children, family, and friends.

Using a convenience sample of 120 participants from the general population (60 male and 60 female), Dolan and Hoffman (1998) conducted a study of perceptions of parent custodial status using vignettes depicting persons as married parents, divorced parents with custody, and divorced persons without custody. Their findings indicated that participants were most likely to rate both mothers and fathers who were non-custodial parents negatively. However, over all other parental forms, non-custodial mothers were the most negatively evaluated parents in the study.

Babcock (1997) focused on the effect that non-custodial status had on the salience of identity and general self-esteem for non-custodial mothers. Her most important finding was that all of the 41 non-custodial mothers that were interviewed had experienced negative appraisals on at least one occasion. In order to compensate for these negative appraisals, Babcock deduced that the non-custodial mothers were attempting to fit the ideal model of mothering by altering their mothering role to more closely match social expectations of mothers. According to Babcock’s analysis, the mothers increased physical visitation and contact by phone and letter, showing their dedication to their children. When these efforts to be more like ‘traditional’ mothers failed, the mothers redefined their mothering role, becoming more like sisters, aunts, or friends to their children. The participants claimed that these relationships were mutually satisfying for themselves and their children.

REASONS FOR RELINQUISHMENT

Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, mothers gave up or lost custody of their children for a variety of reasons. Some of these reasons included inability to financially support children, children choosing to remain with their father or another custodial caregiver, mothers’ emotional difficulties, and the courts’ view that fathers were the better parents – usually because of one of the reasons listed (Arditti and Madden-Derdich 1993;Fischer and Cardea 1981; Fischer 1983; Greif and Pabst 1988; Herrerias 1984;Meyers and Lakin 1983; Santora and Hays 1998; Zuravin and Greif 1989). These studies distinguished between voluntary and involuntary relinquishment of custody. In voluntary cases, mothers chose to give up custody of their children. In involuntary cases, the mothers were forced by the courts to give up custody due to their perceived inability to care for the children (Herrerias 1995). In a departure from these descriptive analyses, Clumpus (1996) examined the repercussions of lack of resources on mothers and children, finding that mothers felt that the unequal distribution of power between them and their ex-spouses led to their children becoming tactical pawns in their ex-husbands’ attempts to control the post-divorce relationship between them and their children.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH CHILDREN

For the most part, mothers were involved with their children after giving up or losing custody. Greif (1987b) found increased mother involvement when: (i) the father shared responsibility for the break-up with the ex-wife; (ii) custody was gained through mutual agreement; (iii) the father was earning the higher income; (iv) the father was raising one or two children (rather than three or more); and (v) the mother lived nearby. Using questionnaire responses from 1,136 custodial fathers, Greif found that 73 percent of fathers indicated that their ex-wives were somewhat or slightly involved with their children, whereas only 7 percent of the men indicated that their ex-wives were very involved. It should be noted that these findings were only indicative of face-to-face interaction; they did not account for contact by mail or telephone.

In a comparison of non-custodial mothers and fathers, Furstenburg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill (1983) indicated that mothers were more likely to have higher levels of contact with children than non-custodial fathers. Non-custodial mothers were more likely to visit their children regularly, to have overnight visits, and to write letters and phone the children. These results, however, should be looked at with caution given the difference between the sample of non-custodial fathers (n = 395) and the sample of non-custodial mothers (n = 28).

In 1984, Herrerias reported results from 18 page questionnaires collected from non-custodial mothers who lived in Texas, Oklahoma, and New York. Her findings indicated that upon relinquishment, roughly 97% of the 130 women in her sample maintained an active relationship with their children. The majority (71%) were happy with their decision to give up custody, and with their mother–child relationships. Nearly 77 percent described their relationships with their children as close and caring. Greif and Pabst (1988) analyzed 517 questionnaires that were disseminated to non-custodial mothers through the Parents Without Partners magazine and through the Mothers Without Custody organization. Findings indicated that mothers remained involved with their children after relinquishing custody. Out of 517 non-custodial mothers, roughly 23 percent of the mothers claimed to be very involved, 33 percent were somewhat involved, 29 percent were slightly involved, and 15 percent were not involved at all.

In an attempt to fully understand the relationship between non-custodial mothers and their children, the research in the 1990s focused on both quantity and quality of visitation. Although past research from the 1980s addressed the issue of quality to a degree, most of the attention focused on quantity of visitation, excluding parents’ actual involvement in their children’s daily lives and activities. As Greif (1997) noted, parents may pay child support and visit their children regularly, but this is not indicative of involvement in their children’s daily lives. For example, non-custodial fathers have been dubbed ‘Disneyland Dads’ because they do not actively participate in their children’s day-to-day routine (e.g., helping with homework), but instead engage in social and recreational activities (Hetherington 1993).

In two studies completed by Arditti, quantity of visitation was addressed, but quality of visitation was largely ignored. Arditti and Madden-Derdich (1993) found that over half of the 13 mothers in their study indicated that they saw their children several times a month and felt that the visitations went well, for the most part. Mothers did, however, report that they felt a decline in closeness with their children after the divorce.

Arditti (1995) argued that there are clear distinctions between non-custodial mothers and fathers, especially with regards to involvement with their children. The literature cited in this review pointed to the fact that mothers were much more likely to feel a connection with their children despite their living arrangements, and that they were more likely to try to maintain an active relationship with their children through visitation, phoning, mailing letters, etc. Although this article focused on the connection between mothers and children, involvement in children’s day-to-day lives was ignored.

In their work, Maccoby and Mnookin (1992) examined divorced families in California, showing that non-custodial mothers were more involved in day-to-day aspects of parenting such as buying clothes, keeping track of doctor appointments, and supervising homework than were non-custodial fathers. Non-custodial fathers also reported more problems monitoring their children’s activities during visitation than did non-custodial mothers.

Using the 1987 to 1988 National Survey of Families and Households, Stewart (1999a) addressed structural impediments to visitation activities (e.g., living far away from children and lack of finances), a finding that parents who lived further away from their children were less likely to see their children and when they did see their children were more likely to participate in leisure activities rather than school or organized activities. Parents with low levels of education were more likely to focus on leisure activities when they were with their children. Level of earnings had no impact on the choice to participate in leisure versus school activities. Overall, Stewart’s findings revealed that both non-custodial mothers and fathers have similar types of visitation patterns, leading to the conclusion that emotional issues and practical barriers make day-to-day contact with children difficult to maintain, regardless of parents’ gender.

In a similar analysis using the same dataset, Stewart (1999b) found that non-resident mothers were slightly more likely to maintain contact via phone and mail than fathers. About 30 percent of non-resident mothers talked to their children several times a week compared with 20 percent of fathers. She found no difference between how many times mothers and fathers saw their children during the year. Yet, overall, children spent significantly more weeks visiting non-resident mothers than fathers. Over two thirds of non-resident fathers reported never having had their children come to stay with them compared with half of mothers. Over one third of non-resident mothers reported that their child stayed with them for over one month in the last year, compared with only 14 percent of fathers.

ADJUSTMENT AND COPING

Adjusting to and coping with the role of non-custodial parent can be a complex process. Scholarship during the 1980s and 1990s indicated that some women adapted quickly and coped well in their new parenting role, whereas others experienced difficulties associated with relinquishing their children. Greif (1987a) found that one third of his sample of 517 non-custodial mothers were comfortable being non-custodial parents, were comfortable telling people that they were non-custodial parents, did not feel guilty about their non-custodial status, felt the children were better off where they were (i.e., outside of mothers’ custody), and were satisfied with their relationship with their children. Focusing on these women’s experiences, Greif (1987a) found that mothers’ comfort was most highly correlated with their satisfaction with their relationship with their children, not feeling guilt, and believing that the children were better off with their fathers. Personal factors that were predictors of comfort included the choice to voluntarily give up custody, the reason the mother gave for the divorce (e.g., if she felt that the blame was shared she was better off), the reason why the mother did not have custody (e.g., mothers whose children wanted to live with their father were better adjusted), the stress at the time of relinquishment (i.e., mothers who felt less stress were better adjusted), mother’s religion (i.e., those with no religious affiliation felt more comfortable), and the way the mothers dealt with changes in their lifestyles (i.e., those who felt content with a changing financial lifestyle were more comfortable as non-custodial mothers).

In their book Mothers Without Custody, Greif and Pabst (1988) found that women who demonstrated the highest level of adjustment reported seeing their children often and having grown up in a family with liberal views on the role of mothers and fathers in children’s lives. Similar to Greif (1987a) and Greif and Pabst (1988), Edwards (1989) found that out of the 100 non-custodial mothers she surveyed, more than 90 percent expressed satisfaction with their decision to relinquish custody because they felt that it was in the best interests of the children financially, physically, and emotionally.

Fischer and Cardea (1981), on the other hand, found that mothers had a difficult time coping with their non-custodial status. This research indicated that non-custodial mothers were under a great deal of stress, were economically disadvantaged, and lacked a sufficient support system. Herrerias (1984) asked 130 women to reflect on their experiences with custody relinquishment. Twenty-two percent of these mothers regretted their custody decision, citing experiences with low self-esteem and non-psychotic depression.

Edwards (1989) found that the women in her study used a variety of coping tactics, some positive and some negative. Methods of coping included staying in contact with children, keeping a journal about their feelings, staying physically active, reading self-help books, using pills and alcohol, going to therapy, staying active with people, and staying busy.

Santora and Hays (1998) asked their 26 participants how they had coped with the status of non-custodial parent. The majority pointed to the need for a non-judgmental social support network composed of family, friends, other non-custodial mothers, and support groups to help them in adjusting to this role. When asked what they would recommend to other women in similar positions, the women recommended redefining one’s role as a mother, recognizing that this is a time for grieving, allowing this process to take place, using prayer and spirituality, educating oneself about women’s issues, and doing things for your children (e.g., making scrapbooks). Of the 26 women inSantora and Hays’ (1996) study, the majority (69 percent) experienced significant levels of anxiety and/or depressive symptoms, half reported significant health problems, and five of the women were using antidepressants.

THE COURTS

The research of the 1990s began to focus on women’s experiences within the court system and how custody was actually determined within the legal system. As more fathers were awarded custody of their children, the reasons for this increase were explored as well as mothers’ visitation, child support, and overall treatment in the system. Using data from 509 divorce cases in Michigan during the early 1980s, Fox and Kelly (1995) examined who was most likely to receive sole physical custody in final court judgments. Their findings indicated substantial gender differences in the effects of socioeconomic and legal process variables on custody outcomes.

More specifically, they found that fathers were more likely to gain custody of older male children than female children. When shifting attention to socioeconomic factors in custody decisions, they found that mothers were more likely to be awarded custody of their children if they had a college degree. Education did not play a role in the court-based custody decision for fathers. Mothers’ income had no effect on whether or not she obtained custody. On the other hand, fathers with high incomes were less likely to have custody of their children. This was not because the court was unlikely to give higher income fathers custody, but was related to the high opportunity costs involved in being the sole custodial parent of a child or children. In other words, these fathers opted to not go for custody. Courts were less likely to give custody to unemployed fathers while women’s employment status had no effect on custody decisions.

Shifting to the legal process, findings indicated that when husbands were the plaintiffs in custody cases, they were more likely to obtain sole custody of the children (Chesler 1986; Fox and Kelly 1995). Fox and Kelly (1995) argued that this finding was indicative of the shift to gender-neutral custody outcomes. This study also found that when a court investigation took place regarding the children’s current living situation that fathers were more likely to gain custody of the children.

Using 1153 court case records from 10 Minnesota counties in 1986, Christensen, Dahl, and Rettig (1990) examined the differences in treatment of non-custodial mothers and fathers by the courts. Christensen et al. (1990) found that non-custodial mothers pay child support less frequently than non-custodial fathers. More specifically, out of 114 non-custodial mother cases, 38 mothers paid support. When non-custodial mothers paid child support, they also paid less child support than non-custodial fathers (i.e., 20 percent of their income versus 25 percent of fathers’ income). Upon closer inspection, it was found that non-custodial mothers pay less because of their disproportionately low incomes in comparison with men. More specifically, non-custodial mothers had a net yearly income that was about 63 percent of non-custodial fathers. Non-custodial mothers were likely to be employed in jobs with few fringe benefits and were also less likely to have pensions in comparison with non-custodial fathers.

To some degree, studies during the 1990s drew attention to the connection between child custody and domestic violence. Rosen and Etlin (1996), for example, found that judges were more likely to give custody of children to abusive fathers because of the assumption that battered mothers were unable to take care of themselves (i.e., could not stop the abuse) and therefore could not care for or protect their children.

The non-custodial mother: Current knowledge (2000 to present)

The descriptive studies conducted during the 1980s and 1990s provided much needed background information about non-custodial mothers. With the exception of Chesler (1986), Greif and Pabst (1988), and Herrerias (1984), these studies lacked theoretical depth. As research continued into the 1990s, similar trends continued until the middle of the decade. At this time, a more theoretically rigorous examination of non-custodial mothers’ experiences became apparent. In particular, Clumpus (1996) used a social constructionist framework to understand mothers’ experiences with social stigma, whereas Babcock (1997) examined social stigma through the use of identity theory. During this decade, we also saw a shift toward focusing more on structural forces that affect women’s experiences in the courts and during visitations with their children.Stewart (1999a) discussed how a mother’s economic situation as well as her living arrangements could impede her ability to see her children. Both issues are intimately connected to gender. Studies by Fox and Kelly (1995) and Christensen et al. (1990) also point to how gender and economic situation affects women’s experiences with custody and child support.

Studies on non-custodial mothers from 2000 up to today have been minimal. Bemiller’s (2005) recent qualitative study, used 16 one-on-one interviews to further understand the connection between being a woman and motherhood in Western society. This study explored how non-custodial mothers define and enact motherhood in a society that emphasizes that mothers should be the primary caregivers for children. Bemiller notes that non-custodial mothers are perceived as ‘deviant’ mothers because they live apart from their children most of the time and therefore are unable to be full-time, intensive mothers. As a result, non-custodial mothers struggled with their role as mother, vacillating between accommodation of dominant definitions of motherhood and resistance of the same ideology.

Other research has drawn attention to non-custodial mothers’ experiences within the family court system. Adding to past research on child support payments, Grall (2007) reported that non-custodial mothers’ and non-custodial fathers’ child support payments were comparable. The proportion of mothers (47.3 percent) and fathers (43.1 percent) receiving full payments of child support in 2005 were not statistically significant. In addition to Grall’s census report, a report from the National Organization for Women (NOW) documented women’s experiences with family court dysfunction in California (Heim et al. 2002). This report found corruption, denial of due process, and gender bias in the family courts. Similarly, The Wellesley Centers for Women published a report that examined violations of human rights laws and standards in the Massachusetts family courts. These violations included failure to investigate allegations of child abuse in contested child custody cases (Cuthbert et al. 2002).

In an attempt to further understand the effects of interpersonal violence (IPV) on custody outcomes, Kernic et al. (2005) completed a retrospective cohort study of 2,516 couples with children under the age of 18 years in Seattle, WA. The authors found a history of IPV in 11 percent of the cases that they examined. Kernic et al. (2005) found that mothers with a history of IPV were no more likely than comparison group mothers to be awarded child custody, although overall mothers in the study were more likely to be awarded custody of children than fathers. The authors also found that fathers who were known perpetrators of IPV were not expected to have third-party supervision during child visitation, but were often remanded to counseling. The overall findings of this study led to the conclusion that IPV is often not identified within the custody proceedings even when there is a documented, substantiated history of IPV present, and that there was a lack of strong protections ordered among cases where a history of substantiated IPV was known to exist.

Future directions

Although the scholarship of motherhood is alive and well within Sociology, the focus on non-custodial mothers has been limited. This article has provided an overview of some of the seminal studies conducted during the 1980s up to the present. As noted, the majority of the studies completed during the 1980s and 1990s were descriptive, lacking theoretical analyses (for exceptions see Babcock 1997; Chesler 1986; Clumpus 1996;Greif and Pabst 1988; Herrerias 1984). Although these studies provided important background information on these women, they did not theoretically frame their experiences, nor did they provide a detailed examination of social forces that affect non-custodial mothers.These omissions open up many possibilities for research with this population of women. One area that deserves attention is the social construction of motherhood for non-custodial mothers. With the exception of Babcock (1997) andBemiller (2005), researchers have failed to examine how non-custodial mothers define motherhood as well as how they enact mothering in light of the contradictions that exist between personal and social definitions of motherhood. It is important to understand how non-custodial mothers define motherhood and mothering because these definitions affect how they perceive themselves as women and mothers. How non-custodial mothers define and enact mothering may influence their day-to-day interactions with their children, ex-spouses, and family. It may also affect how they cope with the status of non-custodial parent.

Along these same lines, recent scholarship on motherhood has addressed the need to examine the diverse experiences of mothers in relationship to the intensive mothering paradigm. Non-custodial mothers provide a unique opportunity to examine accommodation of or resistance to the intensive mothering paradigm. Because these women do not live with their children the majority of the time, and because they are often in financially unstable situations, these mothers may have a difficult time intensively mothering their children (e.g., cooking for them, buying for them, and nurturing them). Bemiller (2005) has examined this issue with 16 non-custodial mothers, but further research must focus attention on non-custodial mothers and the intensive mothering paradigm.

Social stigma also warrants further examination. In her study of 100 mothers, Edwards (1989) reported mixed reactions regarding non-custodial mothers’ experiences. Some of the women in her study spoke of being stigmatized by family, friends, and acquaintances, whereas others pointed to the strong support that they received from people in their lives. Thus, not all women incurred harsh judgments because of their status. Babcock (1997), on the other hand, found that all of the women in her sample had experienced stigmatization, leading them to redefine the role of mother. Babcock argued that this redefinition of the mother role was connected to the social construction of motherhood. Further exploration into non-custodial mothers and social stigma would be useful. In particular, future research should focus attention on factors that lead some women to define their personal interactions as non-custodial mothers as stigmatizing while others do not. Like Babcock’s findings, new research may continue to find a connection between the social construction of motherhood and the definition of and internalization of stigma.

The relationship between custodial and non-custodial parents must also be explored. Past research has given this topic cursory attention, but has failed to discuss how the relationship between parents affects non-custodial mothers’ access to children and their feelings about motherhood. Although motherhood can be empowering for women (Collins 1987; Johnson 1988), it may also be viewed as disempowering if mothers do not have access to children. Given the barriers that some non-custodial mothers face when attempting to see their children, it is important to understand the short and long term effects on the family.

Last but certainly not least, research should continue to explore the connection between domestic violence and child custody in the family court system. Recent research has documented that fathers receive custody of children despite allegations of family violence (Kernic et al. 2005; Neustein and Lesher 2005; Rosen and Etlin 1996). To better understand how and why this happens research must continue to evaluate court processes and decision-making strategies. In particular, research should focus on court appointed custody evaluators, addressing how they handle contested custody cases that involve allegations of domestic violence.

The above-mentioned are only a few suggestions for areas of exploration. Research opportunities are numerous within this population of mothers. Future research should continue to explore the diversity of contemporary family life, contributing to our understanding of motherhood, fatherhood, and family as gendered social institutions.

Short Biography

Michelle Bemiller is Assistant Professor of Sociology at Kansas State University. Her research is located within the areas of gender, deviance, and criminology; she has authored or co-authored refereed articles and book reviews in these areas forSociological Focus, Journal of Family Issues, Gender & Society, Contemporary Sociology, and the Criminal Justice Review. She is currently completing a multi-method analysis of occupational burnout amongst sexual assault and domestic violence workers in the state of Kansas. She holds a BA in Political Science/Criminal Justice from the University of Akron, an MA in Justice Studies from Kent State University, and a PhD in Sociology from the University of Akron.

Note

* Correspondence address: Department of Sociology, Anthropology, and Social Work, Kansas State University, 204 Waters Hall, Manhattan, KS 66506–4003, USA. E-mail:Bemiller@ksu.edu

References

  • Aldous, J., G. M. Mulligan and T. Bjarnason 1998. ‘Fathering Over Time: What Makes the Difference?’ Journal of Marriage and the Family 60: 809–20. Links

  • Arditti, J. A. 1995. ‘Noncustodial Parents: Emergent Issues of Diversity and Process.’ Marriage and Family Review 20: 283–304. Links
  • Arditti, J. A. and D Madden-Derdich 1993. ‘Noncustodial Mothers: Developing Strategies of Support.’ Family Relations 42: 305–14. Links

  • Arendell, T. 1995. Fathers & Divorce. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
  • Arendell, Terry 2000. ‘Conceiving and Investigating Motherhood: The Decade’s Scholarship.’ Journal of Marriage and the Family 62: 1192–1207. Links
  • Babcock, G. M. 1997. ‘Stigma, Identity Dissonance and the Nonresidential Mother.’ Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 28: 139–56. Links

  • Bemiller, M. 2005. Mothering on the margins: the experience of noncustodial mothers. Unpublished PhD thesis. University of Akron: Department of Sociology.
  • Chesler, 1986. Mothers on Trial: The Battle for Children and Custody. Seattle, WA: Seal Press.
  • Christensen, D. H., C. M. Dahl and K. D. Rettig 1990. ‘Noncustodial Mothers and Child Support: Examining the Larger Context.’ Family Relations 39: 388–94Links
  • Clumpus, L. 1996. ‘The Feminism & Psychology undergraduate prize 1995: Prizewinning Entry No-woman’s Land: The story of Noncustodial Mothers.’Feminism & Psychology 6: 237–44. Links

  • Collins, Patricia Hill 1987. ‘The Meaning of Motherhood in Black Culture and Black Mother/Daughter Relationships.’ Sage 4: 3–10 Links
  • Collins, Patricia Hill 1990. Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment. Boston: Unwin Hyman.

  • Cowdery, R. S. and C. Knudson-Martin 2005. ‘The Construction of Motherhood: Tasks, Relational Connection, and Gender Equality.’ Family Relations 54:335–45 Links
  • Cuthbert, C., K. Slote, M. G. Driggers, C. M. Mesh, L. Bancroft and J. Silverman2002. Battered Mothers Speak Out: A Human Rights Report on Domestic Violence and Child Custody in the Massachusetts Family Courts. Wellesley, MA:Battered mothers’ testimony project at the Wellesley Centers for Women.

  • Dolan, M. and C. Hoffman 1998. ‘The Differential Effects of Marital and Custodial Status on Perceptions of Mothers and Fathers.’ Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 29: 55–64 Links

  • Edwards, H. 1989. How Could You: Mothers without Custody of Their Children.Freedom, CA: The Crossing Press.
  • Ferguson, S. K. 1994. ‘Mothers Without Children: Implications for Practice.’ Affilia9: 401–16. Links
  • Fischer, J. L. 1983. ‘Mothers Living Apart from Their Children.’ Family Relations32: 351–7. Links

  • Fischer, J. L. and J. M. Cardea 1981. ‘Mothers Living Apart from Their Children: A Study in Stress and Coping.’ Alternative Lifestyles 4: 218–27. Links
  • Fox, G. and R. F. Kelly 1995. ‘Determinants of Child Custody Arrangements at Divorce.’ Journal of Marriage and the Family 57: 693–708. Links

  • Furstenburg, F., J. L. Peterson, C. L. Nord and N. Zill 1983. ‘The Life Course of Children of Divorce: Marital Disruption and Parental Contact.’ American Sociological Review 48: 656–78. Links
  • Garey, A. 1999. Weaving Work and Motherhood. Philadelphia, PA: Temple University Press.

  • Glenn, E. 1994. ‘Social Constructions of Mothering: A Thematic Overview.’ Pp.1–32 in Mothering: Ideology, Experience, and Agency, edited by E. N. Glenn, G.Chang and L. R. Forcey. New York, NY: Routledge.

  • Grall, T. 2007. ‘Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2005.’Current Population Reports 60–234. Washington, DC: U.S. Census Bureau.

  • Greif, G. 1987a. ‘Mothers without Custody and Child Support.‘ Family Relations35: 87–93. Links

  • Greif, G. 1987b. ‘Single Fathers and Noncustodial Mothers: The Social Worker’s Helping Role.’ Journal of Independent Social Work 1: 59–69. Links
  • Greif, G. 1995. ‘Single Fathers with Custody Following Separation and Divorce.’Marriage and Family Review 20: 213–31. Links

  • Greif, G. 1997. Out of Touch: When Parents and Children Lose Contact after Divorce. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
  • Greif, G. and M. S. Pabst 1988. Mothers without Custody. Lexington, MA: DC Heath.
  • Hays, S. 1996. The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
  • Heim, S., H. Grieco, S. D. Paola and R. Allen 2002. California National Organization for Women Family Court Report 2002. Sacramento, CA: California NOW.
  • Herrerias, C. 1984. Noncustodial mothers: A study of self-concept and social interactions. Unpublished PhD thesis. University of Texas at Austin: Social Work Department.
  • Herrerias, C. 1995. ‘Noncustodial Mothers Following Divorce.’ Marriage & Family Review 20: 233–55. Links
  • Hetherington, E. M. 1993. ‘An Overview of the Virginia Longitudinal Study of Divorce and Remarriage with a Focus on Early Adolescence.’ Journal of Family Psychology 7: 39–56. Links

  • Hill Collins, P. 1987. ‘The Meaning of Motherhood in Black Culture and Black Mother/Daughter Relationships.’ Sage 4: 3–10. Links
  • Hochschild, A. 1989. The Second Shift: Working Parents and the Revolution at Home. New York, NY: Viking Press.

  • Johnson, Miriam 1988. Strong Mothers, Weak Wives. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press.

  • Kernic, M. A., D. J. Monary-Ernsdorff, J. K. Koepsell and V. L. Holt 2005.‘Children in the Crossfire: Child Custody Determinations among Couples with a History of intimate Partner Violence.’ Violence against Women 11: 991–1021.Links

  • Maccoby, E. E. and R. H. Mnookin 1992. Dividing the Child: Social and Legal Dilemmas of Custody. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
  • Mason, M. A. 1997. ‘Read My Lips: Are Mothers Losing Custody? Trends in Judicial Decision-Making in Custody Disputes.’ Family Law Quarterly 31: 215–37.Links
  • Meyers, S. and J. Lakin 1983. Who Will Take the Children? New York, NY:Bobbs-Merrill.

  • Neustein, A. and M. Lesher 2005. From Madness to Mutiny: Why Mothers Are Running from the Family Courts- and What Can Be Done About It. Boston, MA:Northeastern University Press.

  • Rosen, L. N. and M. Etlin 1996. The Hostage Child: Sex Abuse Allegations in Custody Disputes Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press.

  • Santora, J. and P. A. Hays 1998. ‘Coping Outside Traditional Roles: The Case of Noncustodial Mothers and Implications for Therapy.’ Women & Therapy 21:53–66. Links

  • Schur, E. 1984. Labeling Women Deviant: Gender, Stigma, and Social Control.New York, NY: Random House.
  • Stewart, S. D. 1999a. ‘Disneyland Dads, Disneyland Moms? How Nonresident Parents Spend Time with Absent Children.’ Journal of Family Issues 20:539–556. Links
  • Steward, S. D. 1999b. ‘Nonresident Mothers’ and Fathers’ Social Contact with Children.’ Journal of Marriage and the Family 61: 894–907. Links

  • Thompson, R. A. 1983. ‘The Father’s Case in Child Custody Disputes: The Contributions of Psychological Research.’ Pp. 53–1000 in Fatherhood and Family Policy, edited by M. Lamb and A. Sagi. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

  • Zuravin, S. and G. Greif 1989. ‘Low-income Mothers Without Custody: Who Are They and Where Are Their Children?’ Journal of Sociology and Social Welfare16: 163–79.

Sociology Compass 2/3 (2008): 910–924, 10.1111/j.1751-9020.2008.00117.x

WordPress Tags: Kansas,State,CUSTODIAL,THEMATIC,FUTURE,DIRECTIONS,Michelle,Bemiller,Blackwell,Sociology,Compass,ABSTRACT,children,basis,expectations,Although,knowledge,nature,article,overview,attention,role,courts,DIGITAL,OBJECT,IDENTIFIER,About,Text,connection,woman,Schur,Glenn,Hays,activities,Arendell,Feminist,literature,Collins,result,scholarship,ideology,paradigm,Garey,Hill,subject,custody,cases,father,Despite,population,Arditti,Madden,Derdich,Fischer,Cardea,Greif,coverage,product,forces,Babcock,Chesler,Christensen,Clumpus,Dolan,Hoffman,Edwards,Ferguson,Furstenburg,Pabst,Herrerias,Hetherington,Maccoby,Mnookin,Meyers,Lakin,Rosen,Etlin,Santora,Stewart,Zuravin,numbers,Harriett,Could,notion,characteristics,notions,actions,Cowdery,Knudson,Martin,analysis,beliefs,Aldous,involvement,Hochschild,belief,virtue,gender,relationships,letter,movement,momentum,Kelley,parent,doctrine,workforce,culture,Thompson,system,rights,judges,approval,responsibilities,American,Association,Mason,advantage,Research,background,Some,data,collection,addition,adjustment,status,SOCIAL,stigma,comparison,friends,human,development,West,Texas,nest,situation,lifestyle,Findings,results,acquaintances,Thus,self,Apart,MATCH,goal,construction,convenience,male,persons,dedication,efforts,RELINQUISHMENT,Throughout,departure,distribution,relationship,wife,agreement,income,questionnaire,interaction,account,Peterson,Nord,Zill,difference,Oklahoma,York,decision,Parents,Partners,magazine,organization,degree,example,Disneyland,Dads,homework,times,fact,arrangements,California,doctor,appointments,problems,National,Survey,leisure,education,Level,earnings,impact,Overall,conclusion,Over,satisfaction,guilt,Personal,religion,affiliation,Similar,interests,depression,journal,feelings,pills,therapy,prayer,health,treatment,Michigan,college,words,employment,investigation,records,Minnesota,Dahl,Rettig,Upon,inspection,benefits,violence,assumption,Current,exception,depth,examination,framework,theory,Both,Western,notes,accommodation,resistance,payments,Grall,proportion,census,Women,Heim,corruption,denial,bias,Wellesley,Massachusetts,failure,Cuthbert,Kernic,retrospective,cohort,Seattle,history,supervision,proceedings,possibilities,area,interactions,Along,Further,exploration,definition,Past,topic,Johnson,Given,Last,Recent,Neustein,Lesher,life,Short,Biography,Assistant,Professor,Sociological,Focus,Contemporary,Criminal,Justice,Review,method,workers,Political,Science,Akron,Kent,Note,Correspondence,Department,Anthropology,Work,Waters,Hall,Manhattan,Mulligan,Bjarnason,Time,Marriage,Links,Noncustodial,Emergent,Support,Relations,Divorce,Thousand,Oaks,Sage,Terry,Decade,Dissonance,Nonresidential,Mother,Remarriage,margins,thesis,Trial,Battle,Seal,Child,Larger,Context,Feminism,Psychology,undergraduate,Entry,Land,Patricia,Black,Daughter,Thought,Politics,Empowerment,Boston,Unwin,Hyman,Tasks,Relational,Slote,Driggers,Mesh,Bancroft,Speak,Report,Domestic,testimony,Differential,Effects,Marital,Freedom,Practice,Affilia,Study,Alternative,Determinants,Course,Disruption,Parental,Contact,Philadelphia,Temple,Experience,Agency,Chang,Forcey,Routledge,Reports,Washington,Bureau,Single,Worker,Independent,Separation,Lose,Oxford,Lexington,Heath,Cultural,Haven,Yale,Grieco,Paola,Allen,Court,Sacramento,concept,Austin,Virginia,Longitudinal,Adolescence,Second,Shift,Revolution,Home,Miriam,Strong,Weak,Berkeley,Monary,Ernsdorff,Koepsell,Holt,Crossfire,Determinations,Partner,Legal,Cambridge,Harvard,Read,Lips,Judicial,Take,Bobbs,Merrill,From,Mutiny,Northeastern,Hostage,Abuse,Bloomington,Indiana,Outside,Traditional,Case,Deviant,Control,Random,House,Moms,Nonresident,Spend,Absent,Steward,Contributions,Psychological,Policy,Lamb,Sagi,Hillsdale,Lawrence,Erlbaum,Associates,Where,Welfare,TRENDS,scholars,fathers,caretakers,judgments,roles,decisions,methods,examples,differences,instruments,reactions,students,attitudes,lifestyles,accidents,categories,outcomes,evaluations,perceptions,participants,appraisals,analyses,repercussions,spouses,responses,questionnaires,distinctions,aspects,impediments,barriers,factors,symptoms,incomes,pensions,definitions,violations,allegations,authors,protections,omissions,contradictions,situations,strategies,suggestions,areas,institutions,articles,References,Publications,Implications,Constructions,Dilemmas,decades,heterosexual,qualitative,structural,lens,interpersonal,exceptions,respondents,homosexual,whether,visitation,husbands,month,visitations,third,socioeconomic

The Batterer As Parent

Published March 27, 2006 by Synergy 6(1) P 6-8 Ncjfcj Newsletter

 

The Batterer As Parent

by Lundy Bancroft

 

Research on children's exposure to domestic violence has tended to focus primarily on two aspects of their experience: the trauma of witnessing physical assaults against their mother, and the tension produced by living with a high level of conflict between their parents.1 However, these are just two elements of a much deeper problem pervading these children's daily life, which is that they are living with a batterer. The parenting of men who batterer exposes children to multiple potential sources of emotional and physical injury, most of which have not been recognized widely.

This article looks at the characteristics of men who batter and identifies ways in which these characteristics also influence their ability to parent appropriately. Additionally, the article will address the implications of such parenting for child protective and custody determinations.

Characteristics of Men Who Batter

Most of the characteristics that are typical of men who batter have potential ramifications for children in the home. Batterers often tend toward authoritarian, neglectful, and verbally abusive child-rearing.2 The effects on the children of these and other parenting weaknesses may be intensified by the children's prior traumatic experience of witnessing violence.3 Consider the following selected examples of characteristics of men who batter:

Control: Coerciveness is widely recognized as a central quality of battering men,4 and one of the areas of life heavily controlled by many men who batterer is the mother's parenting. A man who batters may cause or forbid his partner to terminate a pregnancy, overrule her parenting decisions, or assault her when he is angry over the children's behavior. Battered women are far more likely than other mothers to feel that they have to alter their parenting styles when their partners are present.5

Entitlement: A man who batters considers himself entitled to a special status within the family, with the right to use violence when he deems it necessary.6 This outlook of entitlement can lead to selfish and self-centered behavior on his part. For example, he may become irate or violent when he feels that his partner is paying more attention to the children than to him. It is difficult for children to have their needs met in such an atmosphere and they are vulnerable to role-reversal, where they are made to feel responsible to take care of the battering parent.

Possessiveness: Men who batter often have been observed to perceive their partners as owned objects.7 This possessive outlook can sometimes extend to their children, partly accounting for the dramatically elevated rates of physical abuse8 and sexual abuse9 of children perpetrated by batterers, and for the fact that these men seek custody of their children more often than non-battering fathers do.10

Other characteristics that can have an important impact on children include manipulativeness, denial and minimization of the abuse, battering in multiple relationships, and resistance to change.

Influence of Battering on Parenting

The characteristics discussed above influence the parenting of men who batter and have a negative impact on the children by:

  • creating role models that perpetuate the violence
  • undermining the mother's authority
  • retaliating against the mother for her efforts to protect the children
  • sowing divisions within the family
  • using the children as weapons against the mother

Creating role models that perpetuate the violence:
Boys who are exposed to domestic violence show dramatically elevated rates of battering their own partners as adolescents or adults.11 Research suggests that this connection is a product more of the values and attitudes that boys learn from witnessing battering behavior than of the emotional trauma of being exposed to such abuse.12 Daughters of battered women show increased difficulty in escaping partner abuse in their adult relationships.13 Both boys and girls have been observed to accept various aspects of the batterer's belief-system,14 including the view that victims of violence are to blame, that women exaggerate hysterically when they report abuse, and that males are superior to females.

Undermining the mother's authority: Domestic violence is inherently destructive to maternal authority because the batterer's verbal abuse and violence provide a model for children of contemptuous and aggressive behavior toward their mother. The predictable result, confirmed by many studies, is that children of battered women have increased rates of violence and disobedience toward their mothers.15 Some battered mothers make reports of being prevented from picking up a crying infant or from assisting a frightened or injured child and of being barred from providing other basic physical, emotional, or even medical care. Interference of this kind can cause the children to feel that their mother does not care about them or is unreliable. The batterer may reinforce those feelings by verbally conditioning the children through statements such as, "Your mother doesn't love you," or, "Mommy only cares about herself."

Retaliating against her for her efforts to protect the children: A mother may find that she is assaulted or intimidated if she attempts to prevent the batterer from mistreating the children, or may find that he harms the children more seriously to punish her for standing up for them. Therefore, she may be forced over time to stop intervening on her children's behalf. This dynamic can lead children to perceive their mother as uncaring about the batterer's mistreatment of them, and can contribute to her being labeled by child protective services as "failing to protect."

Sowing divisions with the family: Some batterers use favoritism to build a special relationship with one child in the family. As some researchers have noted, the favored child is particularly likely to be a boy, and the batterer may bond with him partly through encouraging a sense of superiority to females.16 Batterers also may create or feed familial tensions deliberately. These manipulative behaviors are a likely factor in the high rate of inter-sibling conflict and violence observed in families exposed to battering behavior.17

Using the children as weapons: Many men who batter use children as a vehicle to harm or control the mother18 through such tactics as destroying the children's belongings to punish the mother, requiring the children to monitor and report on their mother's activities, or threatening to kidnap or take custody of the children if the mother attempts to end the relationship. These parenting behaviors draw the children into the abuser's behavior pattern. Post-separation, many batterers use unsupervised visitation as an opportunity to further abuse the mother through the children.19

Implications for Child Protective and Custody Determinations

Determinations regarding child protection, custody, and visitation in the context of domestic violence need to be informed by an awareness of the destructive parenting behaviors exhibited by many men who batter, and their effects on children and their mothers. These behaviors have especially important implications for children who are struggling with two sets of psychological injuries, one from exposure to the battering behavior and the other from their parents' divorce or separation. Some elements to examine closely when crafting interventions for families include:

Addressing the healing needs of children: There is a wide consensus that children's recovery from exposure to domestic violence (and from divorce) depends largely on the quality of their relationship with the non-battering parent and with their siblings.20 Therefore, in addition to safety consideration, court determinations should take into account whether the batterer is likely, based on his past and current behavior, to continue to undermine the mother's authority, interfere with mother-child relationships, or cause tensions between siblings. Because children need a sense of safety in order to heal,21 juvenile and family court decisions may not want to include leaving the children in the unsupervised care of a man whose violent tendencies they have witnessed, even if they feel a strong bond of affection for him.

Making appropriate assessments, especially in custody determinations: A batterer's history of abusive behavior, and how such abuse reflects on his parenting, needs to be investigated carefully, assessing for the presence of any of the common problems described above and paying particular attention to that children may become a vehicle for continued abuse of the mother.22 Courts need to ensure that custody evaluators have extensive training on the multiple sources of risk to children from custody or unsupervised contact with the abusive parent.

Safely fostering father-child relationships: Except in cases where the children are terrified of the battering parent or have been abused by him directly, children tend to desire some degree of ongoing contact with their fathers. Such contact can be beneficial as long as adequate safety measures are provided for the mother and children and the abuser is not given the opportunity to cause set-backs to the children's emotional recovery. These goals can be fostered through custody arrangements that take into full consideration the violence in the home caused by the battering parent and through the use of professionally supervised visitation, ideally based in a visitation center. Where unsupervised visitation is found to be safe, the use of relatively short visits that do not include overnight visits can reduce the batterer's ability to damage mother-child relationship, limit his negative influence on the children's behavior and value-systems, and ensure that the children feel safe and secure—while still allowing them to feel a continued connection to their father.

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The Batterer As Parent,  by Lundy Bancroft
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NOTES

1. See for example, Rossman, R., Hughes, H., & Rosenberg, M. (2000). Children and interparental violence: The impact of exposure. Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.

2. Bancroft, L. & Silverman, J. (2002). The batterer as parent: Addressing the impact of domestic violence on family dynamics. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

3. Margolin, G., John, R., Ghosh, C., & Gordis, E. (1996). Family interaction process: An essential tool for exploring abusive relationships. In D. Cahn & S. Lloyd (Eds.), Family violence from a communication perspective (pp. 37-58). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

4. Lloyd, S., & Emery, B. (2000). The dark side of courtship: Physical and sexual aggression. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

5. Holden, G. & Ritchie, K. (1991). Linking extreme marital discord, child rearing, and child behavior problems: Evidence from battered women. Child Development, 62, 311-327.

6. Silverman, J., & Williamson, G. (1997). Social ecology and entitlements involved in battering by heterosexual college males: Contributions of family and peers. Violence and Victims, 12(2), 147-164.

7. Adams, D. (1991). Empathy and entitlement: A comparison of battering and nonbattering husbands. Unpublished doctoral dissertation. (Available from Emerge, 2380 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA, 02140.); Lloyd & Emery, op. cit.

8. E.g. Straus, M. (1990). Ordinary violence, child abuse, and wife-beating: What do they have in common? In M. Straus & R. Gelles (Eds.), Physical Violence in American Families (pp. 403-424). New Brunswick: Transition; Suh, E., & Abel, E.M. (1990). The impact of spousal violence on the children of the abused. Journal of Independent Social Work, 4(4), 27-34; and several other studies.

9. E.g. McCloskey, L.A., Figueredo, A.J., & Koss, M. (1995). The effect of systemic family violence on children's mental health. Child Development, 66, 1239-1261; Paveza, G. (1988). Risk factors in father-daughter child sexual abuse. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 3(3), 290-306; and several other studies.

10. American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family (1996). Violence and the family. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

11. Hotaling, G., & Sugarman, D. (1986). An analysis of risk markers in husband to wife violence: The current state of knowledge. Violence and Victims, 1(2), 101-124; Silverman & Williamson, op. cit.

12. Silverman & Williamson, op. cit.

13. Doyne, S., Bowermaster, J., Meloy, R., Dutton, D., Jaffe, P., Temko, S., & Mones, P. (1999). Custody disputes involving domestic violence: Making children's needs a priority. Juvenile and Family Court Journal, 50(2), 1-12; Hotaling & Sugarman, op. cit.

14. Hurley, D.J., & Jaffe, P. (1990). Children's observations of violence: II. Clinical implications for children's mental health professionals. Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 35(6), 471-476.

15. Jaffe, P., & Geffner, R. (1998). Child custody disputes and domestic violence: Critical issues for mental health, social service, and legal professionals. In G. Holden, R. Geffner, & E. Jouriles (Eds.), Children exposed to marital violence: Theory, research, and applied issues (pp. 371-408). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association; Dutton, M.A. (1992). Empowering and healing the battered woman. New York: Springer.

16. See for example Johnston, J., & Campbell, L. (1993b). Parent-child relationships in domestic violence families disputing custody. Family and Conciliation Courts Review, 31(3), 282-298. (Johnston & Campbell seem to overlook the implications of many of their own observations - see Bancroft & Silverman, op. cit., for an extended discussion.)

17. op. cit.

18. Erickson, J., & Henderson, A. (1998). "Diverging realities: Abused women and their children. In J. Campbell (Ed.), Empowering survivors of abuse: Health care for battered women and their children (pp. 138-155). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

19. Bancroft & Silverman, op. cit.

20. See review of studies in Heller, S., Larrieu, J., D'Imperio, R., & Boris, N. (1998). Research on resilience to child maltreatment: Empirical considerations. Child Abuse and Neglect, 23(4) 321-338.

21. van der Kolk, B., & McFarlane, A. (1996). The black hole of trauma. In B. van der Kolk, A. McFarlane, & L. Weisaeth (Eds.), Traumatic stress: The effects of overwhelming experience on mind, body, and society (pp. 3-23). New York: Guilford.

22. For a detailed assessment guide, see Chapter 7 of Bancroft & Silverman, op. cit.

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HOW DO WE KNOW CUSTODY COURTS ARE SENDING CHILDREN TO LIVE WITH ABUSERS?

The Civic Research Institute  From: Domestic Violence, Abuse and Child Custody-

TEN WAYS TO KNOW THE CUSTODY COURT SYSTEM IS BROKEN

by Barry Goldstein

Download PDF HERE

 Domestic Violence, Abuse and Child Custody

Mothers and domestic violence advocates have been complaining for many years
about problems in the custody court system that have resulted in large numbers of
children being sent to live with abusive fathers while safe, protective mothers are denied
any meaningful relationship with their children. Courts have tended to dismiss the
complaints by referring to the mothers as “disgruntled litigants.” As more concern about
the problem has been expressed and more research performed, the mothers’ complaints
have been confirmed. Early in 2010, a new book co-edited by Dr. Maureen T. Hannah
and Barry Goldstein, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE and CHILD CUSTODY will be
published and end any doubts that there is a pattern of mistakes made in the custody court
system. These mistakes have caused thousands of cases to be mishandled and placed the
lives and well being of battered women and their children in jeopardy. The book includes
chapters by over 25 of the leading experts in the United States and Canada including
judges, lawyers, psychiatrists, psychologists, sociologists, journalists and domestic
violence advocates. Although these experts come from different disciplines and
approached the issue from different directions, there is a remarkable consensus about the
problem and the solution. The up-to-date research and information now available makes
it clear that the present practices can no longer be justified and the custody court system
must create the necessary reforms to protect the safety of children and protective mothers
in domestic violence custody cases. This article will discuss ten reasons we know the
custody court system is broken and must be reformed.

 

  • 1. Mothers’ Complaints: The problem this article seeks to discuss are cases in
    which a mother who has been the primary caregiver and makes allegations of
    domestic violence and/or child abuse loses custody to the alleged abuser and
    receives supervised visitation or no contact with her children. These cases have
    increased since federal laws designed to increase enforcement of child support
    orders were passed. Male supremacist groups have encouraged abusive fathers to
    seek custody as a way to avoid paying child support, to pressure his partner to
    stay or punish her for leaving. The courts and the often inadequately trained
    professionals they rely on, glad to see the involvement of fathers in children’s
    lives often fail to recognize the tactic and motivation. Courts tend to look at each
    case separately and so fail to see the patterns of mistakes in these cases.
    Demonizing their victim is a common strategy employed by abusers so a court
    could believe there was something profoundly wrong with an individual mother to
    justify the extreme outcome. When experts look at the pattern of these cases it is
    evident that the unusual circumstances needed to justify a particular outcome
    cannot be as common as the results would suggest. Women and children make
    deliberately false allegations of abuse between one and two percent of the time,
    but the court decisions support the myth that such deliberate false allegations are common. Furthermore, domestic violence allegations are painful and embarrassing to make and require the victims to speak about uncomfortable issues and questions. Research demonstrates that allegations of domestic violence and child abuse make women less likely to obtain custody. We can’t know that an individual case was improperly decided without careful review of the case, but we know the frequency of outcomes that give custody to alleged abusers cannot
    possibly be based on objective facts.

 

  • 2. Available Research: The modern movement against domestic violence is only
    about thirty years old and there was little research available when it started. We
    now have extensive research to demonstrate common mistakes courts and the
    often-unqualified professionals they rely on use in domestic violence custody
    cases. Studies show that while evaluators believe they are considering domestic
    violence in their investigation of the family, in fact most fail to do so. We have
    many studies proving widespread gender bias against women in the approaches
    used by the courts. Evaluators regularly use psychological testing that has little or
    no relevance to the issues before the court and is gender biased. Psychologists
    testifying before the courts rarely inform the judges that their results are based
    upon probabilities so that factors in the case that would reduce those probabilities
    can be considered. Most important to the present topic is research that considers
    the accuracy of the actual court decisions. Most custody cases (over 95%) are
    settled more or less amicably. The problem is with the minority of terrible cases
    that continue to trial and beyond. Courts often think of them as “high conflict”
    cases, but in reality these are mostly domestic violence cases. Research studies
    vary somewhat on the percentage of these cases that involve abusive fathers, but
    all agree the majority of such cases involve domestic violence. I believe the
    studies that found 90% of these contested custody cases are caused by abusive
    fathers because unqualified professionals frequently miss domestic violence. In
    any event, contested custody cases should be being decided overwhelmingly in
    favor of protective mothers because most of the fathers are abusive, but 70% of
    the cases result in custody or joint custody to the father. This does not tell us an
    individual case was wrongly decided, but does demonstrate that a large
    percentage of cases are being decided in a way that is harmful for the children.

 

  • 3. Battered Mothers Testimony Project and Research: Several states including
    Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, California, Arizona and New York City have done
    studies based on questionnaires filled out by protective mothers. These surveys
    have demonstrated widespread problems in the custody court system, many
    common mistakes and outcomes that fail to protect battered women and their
    children. This is admittedly not scientific research as the participants are
    volunteers rather than randomly selected (much of the “research” cited by male
    supremacist groups comes from interviews with alleged abusers, but is often
    treated as if it were valid research). Sociologists, Sharon Araji and Rebecca L.
    Bosek went several steps further for their chapter in DOMESTIC VIOLENCE,
    ABUSE and CHILD CUSTODY. They performed a similar study in Alaska and
    then compared the results from the various states that interviewed protective mothers. The authors found the responses similar across the several state surveys. They then compared the results of the surveys filled out by protective mothers to scientific research performed by a variety of researchers using accepted scientific methods. Significantly the findings from the protective mothers are strongly
    supported by the scientific research. In other words, the complaints by protective mothers that have been so often dismissed as coming from “disgruntled litigants” actually have substantial validity.

 

  • 4. Courageous Kids: If a court system wanted to determine the validity and value
    of psychological evaluations, it would look for research that examined how the
    recommendations and approaches used by the evaluators worked out in the lives
    of the children. Without such research there is no way to determine if the time,
    money and results for evaluations are useful. In fact there is no such research and
    I would certainly recommend obtaining such research if evaluations were to
    continue to be used in child custody cases. The closest we have to such research
    is the Courageous Kids Network. The Courageous Kids are young adults who
    were forced to live with abusers by the decisions of the custody court. They are
    now old enough to have escaped their abusers and are speaking out about their
    experiences. The stories are painful to hear because they had to survive such
    awful abuse, but life affirming as they overcame the obstacles to support each
    other and help change the broken system. These heroes have spoken at judicial
    trainings, legislative hearings and domestic violence conferences. Their
    presentations are effective because it is all too easy to discredit protective
    mothers, but hard to discredit the children for whom the courts and the
    professionals are supposedly trying to help. Remember these children were
    forced to live with and be influenced by the abuser. In most cases they had to
    endure “therapy” designed to support the abuser and discredit the protective
    mother. There are many psychological, safety and other reasons to discourage
    such children from coming forward and speaking out. The fact so many
    Courageous Kids have spoken out demonstrates the courts are getting large
    numbers of cases tragically wrong.

 

  • 5. Review of Bad Cases: The authors of the 25 chapters in the book have carefully
    reviewed hundreds if not thousands of these cases. In their book, FROM
    MADNESS TO MUTINY, Dr. Amy Neustein and Michael Lesher reviewed over
    1000 cases. The Truth Commission listened to the testimony of 16 women and
    reviewed records from their cases. Many other experts have studied domestic
    violence cases where the alleged abuser received custody and the protective
    mother received little or no contact with her children. In these cases we have
    found widespread mistakes, bad practices, use of myths and stereotypes, the
    failure to use up-to-date research, gender bias and outcomes that place children at
    risk. The legal system works on the assumption that once a case is decided or
    facts determined that the findings are established and any further consideration
    should be based upon the assumption the court decided the case properly. This
    assumption will lead to misinformation and inaccurate research because there is
    strong evidence that most contested domestic violence custody cases and certainly those that result in custody to the alleged abuser are wrongly decided. We are
    particularly concerned with the growing court practice of retaliating against
    protective mothers and professionals trying to help them for exposing court
    mistakes in these cases. Frequently a mother’s refusal to believe an abuser is safe
    after the court fails to recognize his abuse is used to justify severe and extreme
    limitations on her access to her children without regard to the harm such rulings
    have on the children.

 

  • 6. Parental Alienation Syndrome: PAS is a bogus theory created based on the personal biases of Dr. Richard Gardner. His books were self-published and never
    peer reviewed. It is used only in domestic violence custody cases to prevent or
    shorten investigations of the father’s abuse. PAS assumes that if a child expresses
    negative feelings about the father or doesn’t want visitation, the only possible
    explanation is that the mother alienated the child and the solution is to force the
    child to live with the abuser and have at most supervised visitation with the
    protective mother who has been the primary attachment figure for the child. PAS
    is not recognized by any reputable professional organization and does not appear
    in DSM IV, which contains recognized diagnosis. Dr. Paul Fink, past president of
    the American Psychiatric Association wrote a chapter for the book in which he
    demonstrates the invalidity of PAS. Dr. Fink points out that Richard Gardner
    made numerous statements complaining that society takes child sexual abuse too
    seriously and that sex between adults and children can be appropriate. This
    explains why PAS is so often used to give custody to fathers who have sexually
    abused their children. Dr. Fink points out that psychologists are starting to lose
    their licenses for using PAS in evaluations. They are, in effect diagnosing
    something that does not exist. Thousands of the cases in which alleged abusers
    won custody was based upon the discredited PAS or PAS by a different name.
    Any case in which “evidence” of PAS was allowed was likely wrongly decided.

 

  • 7. Gender Bias: The Truth Commission recommended that rather than training professionals with general domestic violence information, all professionals should
    have training in Gender Bias, Recognizing Domestic Violence and the Effects of
    Domestic Violence on Children. This is because they found that many of the
    mistakes made in these cases were caused by a lack of understanding of these
    basic concepts. At least 40 states and many other districts and communities have
    created court-sponsored gender bias committees. They have found widespread
    gender bias and particularly in domestic violence custody cases. Among the
    common problems were blaming victims for their abuser’s behavior, burdening
    women with higher standards of proof and giving fathers more credibility than
    mothers. Other research, including the chapter in the book by Molly Dragiewicz
    has made similar findings. In one New York case the court gave custody to an
    abuser and denied the protective mother any contact with the children after the
    evaluator used and the judge supported a certainty standard for the mother and
    probability standard for the father. Few litigants could win a case when faced
    with a certainty standard. At least 15-20 different judges were asked to review
    this clear example of gender bias (the different standards were stated in the  evaluator’s report and repeatedly challenged in the transcript), but every judge
    failed to correct this obvious error. Lynn Hecht Schafran wrote a brilliant article
    “Evaluating the Evaluators” that illustrates the problem. The article describes a
    new psychologist asked to perform an evaluation on a young family. She went to
    the father’s apartment and found it a complete mess with no food in the
    refrigerator. She wrote the father lives in a typical bachelor apartment. She went
    to the mother’s apartment and found it to be somewhat messy, but not as bad as
    the father’s. She had food in the refrigerator, but not as much as preferable. The
    evaluator wrote the mother lives in a messy apartment with inadequate food. The
    evaluator had a supervisor because she was new and the supervisor asked if she
    saw what she had done. The evaluator could not believe she had engaged in
    gender bias and quickly corrected the report. The article is valuable because it
    demonstrates that professionals acting in good faith (including women) can easily
    engage in gender bias without realizing it because of the sexism and stereotypes
    so prevalent in our society. How can anyone reasonably believe the courts are
    reaching fair decisions in domestic violence custody cases when gender bias is so
    common?

 

  • 8. Failure to Recognize Domestic Violence: Many of the mistakes custody courts
    make have to do with failing to recognize domestic violence. In fairness some of
    the problem is caused because victims or their attorneys fail to present the
    necessary evidence. Unqualified professionals often discount allegations of abuse
    based upon information that represents a normal and reasonable response to his
    abuse. In the book, Judge Mike Brigner writes about training judges in domestic
    violence. They often ask him how to respond to all the cases where women are
    lying about domestic violence. When he asks what they mean, they cite cases
    where women go back to their abuser, withdraw petitions for a protective order,
    fail to file police complaints or don’t seek medical care. In reality there are safety
    and other explanations for women’s response to domestic violence and none of
    these examples should be used to assume her complaints are false. At the same
    time they use information of limited value to discount domestic violence,
    professionals fail to use helpful and relevant information to understand the pattern
    of domestic violence tactics. Too often the professionals are interested only in
    physical abuse. They fail to consider a variety of controlling and coercive tactics.
    They don’t understand the significance of a woman’s fear of her partner.
    Domestic violence advocates are the only professionals that work full time on
    domestic violence issues. The advocates receive more training and have more
    knowledge of domestic violence then the professionals relied on by the courts.
    Domestic violence agencies have very limited resources so they are forced to
    screen clients before providing services. Accordingly when a woman is receiving
    services from a domestic violence agency, it is a strong indication that she is a
    battered woman, but many professionals fail to consider this information.
    Although seeking custody to pressure a mother to return or punish her for leaving
    is a common abuser tactic, few courts consider why a father with limited
    involvement with the children prior to separation suddenly demands full custody.
    Similarly unqualified professionals often fail to consider evidence that a man believes his partner has no right to leave is a strong indication of his motivation in seeking custody. How can courts be expected to decide domestic violence
    custody cases appropriately if they don’t know what to look for when determining the validity of domestic violence allegations?

 

  • 9. Effect of Domestic Violence on Children: Every state has passed laws designed
    to promote greater consideration of the effects of domestic violence on children.
    Some states require domestic violence to be considered in making custody and
    visitation decisions and others create a presumption against custody for abusers
    (although often the laws or the courts require a level of proof or create other
    restrictions that limit the effectiveness of these laws). Prior to these laws, when a
    protective mother asked to limit the father’s contact with the children because of
    domestic violence, the judge would ask some version of “Does he also abuse the
    child?” If the answer was no, the court treated the father as if he was just as
    appropriate for custody and visitation as the mother. The change in laws was
    based on overwhelming research that children witnessing domestic violence were
    harmed as much as children directly abused. The research found these children to
    be at substantially greater risk of a wide range of dysfunctional behaviors when
    they were older. In other words, domestic violence is a serious form of child
    abuse. We have found, however that courts frequently place greater reliance on
    other custody factors that have far less consequences to the safety and well being
    of children. In fairness, the courts are not solely to blame as legislatures have
    passed laws like “friendly parent” factors and failed to make domestic violence
    and safety the primary factors in custody determination. There is no research that
    “alienating” statements or attitudes by one parent to the children has the kind of
    serious long-term harm of domestic violence and yet many of the cases reviewed
    focus far more attention on alleged alienation. When mothers respond normally
    to their partner’s abuse with fear or attempts to protect the children, courts
    frequently treat this as the most important issue in deciding custody. This is a
    common example of what was discussed in gender bias reports in that the mother
    is held responsible for her reaction to the father’s abuse instead of holding the
    father responsible for his abuse. This type of mistake is at the heart of the
    common mistakes made by custody courts and does not serve the best interests of
    the children. If children are having problems as a result of the father’s abuse,
    unqualified professionals often blame the divorce and separation instead of his
    abuse. They often recommend cooperation and interaction between abuser and
    victim that is the opposite of what is healthy for children, but often benefit the
    fathers’ cases. When children appear to be doing well, inadequately trained
    professionals mistakenly assume this means the abuse allegations are false. Some
    children respond to abuse by trying to be perfect and take on adult
    responsibilities. Many years later the harm of the father’s abuse comes out in
    debilitating ways. Similarly children will often behave well with abusers and act
    out with their mothers because they know she is the safe parent. This is often
    misunderstood and courts reach the false conclusion that the father is the better
    parent. As long as the courts fail to understand the long-term harm to children of placing them with abusers, the courts will continue to make decisions that ruin children’s lives.

 

  • 10. Extreme Results: If a court were to give custody to a protective mother and limit
    the father to supervised visitation because of his domestic violence, it would be
    following the recommendations of up-to-date research. In other words there is a
    scientific basis for such an outcome. The researchers weigh the harm of
    restricting the children’s contact with their father and the harm the father is likely
    to cause with unrestricted visitation and the message sent to the children by
    awarding normal visitation with someone they know abused their mother.
    Instead what we are seeing is alleged abusers receiving custody and protective
    mothers having supervised or no visitation. Obviously, in these cases the courts
    are assuming the mother’s allegations of abuse are false. They justify the
    visitation restrictions by their concern the mother will continue to believe she was
    abused and say negative things about the father. Where is the research that the
    harm to the children of hearing such statements is greater than the harm of being
    denied a normal relationship with their mother? Even in intact families the
    children often hear negative comments about the other parent. In other words,
    these extreme court decisions are based upon the belief systems and biases of
    court professionals and not up-to-date research. Many children have been denied
    any contact with their mothers in these cases. Ironically fathers are often granted
    custody based on the belief they are the friendlier parent and will promote the
    relationship between the mother and children, but he proceeds to terminate all
    contact once he has control. Many courts that jumped all over mothers for
    requesting the court restrict the father’s access have done nothing in the face of
    the father preventing visitation or other contact between mother and children.
    Rapists and even murderers frequently receive some supervised visitation and yet
    mothers who sought to protect their children from an abuser are completely cut
    off from their children. The extreme outcomes faced by protective mothers are
    unsupported by any research, but demonstrate serious flaws in the custody
    system.

Now That We Know the Custody Court System Is Broken

  • Now is not the time for blame or attacks. As the Schafran article demonstrates, it is all
    too easy for good and caring people to fail to understand and recognize gender bias and
    domestic violence. In the book, Judge Hornsby writes that in his 19th year on the bench
    he finally understood the proper way to handle requests for protective orders. The
    judge’s humility, integrity and openness should serve as a model to the legal community
    as it responds to the clear information and research that the present court practices are
    mistreating protective mothers and their children. I was recently at a domestic violence
    conference in Hawaii where a court official was asked a question implying serious
    problems in the court system. She responded by saying if someone didn’t like a decision
    they could appeal. To her credit she later acknowledged that many people don’t have the
    money for such an appeal. This official fell into the trap of responding defensively to
    criticism. The challenge for the custody court system is to be open to the up-to-date research even though it finds the courts have made widespread mistakes in its handling of
    domestic violence custody cases. The medical community faced a similar situation in
    responding to research that found avoidable mistakes were responsible for 100,000 deaths
    each year in our nation’s hospitals. For years, fear of lawsuits, discipline and damaged
    reputation caused the medical profession to ignore, deny and seek to place blame on
    others. Finally they realized this was a losing strategy. Doctors, nurses and hospitals
    have now come together to correct the problems with more openness and accountability.
    Lives have already been saved from implementation of this approach and the campaign to
    prevent such avoidable errors. Rather than harm the medical community’s reputation,
    this campaign has increased the respect for the medical community. I believe if the legal
    community makes a similar effort to apply the latest research and create a campaign to
    avoid the kinds of tragic mistakes that have ruined the lives of so many women and
    children, the campaign will improve the reputation of the legal system. The promotion of
    the safety of battered mothers and their children is not and should not be considered a
    partisan issue.

Every state and every court system has rules and laws against domestic violence.

  • Although some fringe male supremacist groups object to these laws, society has spoken
    and there is no longer any legitimate dispute about whether domestic violence should be
    tolerated. If a community had a rash of arson fires and the courts and legislature wanted
    to figure out how to respond they would seek the expertise of the experts. The experts
    are the firefighting community because they know best how to recognize arson, prevent it
    and respond to arson. No one would ever accuse the firefighters of being partisan because they are always against arson. In responding to domestic violence the experts are the domestic violence community. They are the only profession working full time on
    domestic violence issues and know how to recognize domestic violence, the best ways to
    prevent it and the harm it causes. Too often the courts have failed to take advantage of
    this community resource because they viewed domestic violence advocates as partisans.
    The validity for this claim ended when society determined it would no longer tolerate
    domestic violence and passed laws to enforce this determination. The crimes of arson
    and domestic violence are treated differently because arson has always been a crime and
    domestic violence is a relatively new crime and most firefighters are men and most
    domestic violence advocates are women. In this still sexist society what women say is
    not treated with the respect and value that what men say is. The domestic violence
    community is an important and valuable resource that the court system can benefit from
    as it applies the up-to-date research to practices that are now discredited. The legal
    system must use this research to launch a re-evaluation of its response to domestic
    violence custody cases so that custody courts become a safe place for battered mothers
    and their children. We are ready to work with them to help accomplish society’s goal of
    ending domestic violence.

Barry Goldstein is the author of SCARED TO LEAVE AFRAID TO STAY. He has been an instructor and supervisor in a NY Model Batterer Program for 10 years. He was an attorney representing victims of domestic violence for 30 years. He now provides workshops, judicial and other trainings regarding domestic violence particularly related to custody issues. He also serves as a consultant and expert witness. His new book,

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ABUSE and CHILD CUSTODY, co edited with Dr. Maureen T. Hannah will be published early in 2010. For more information, visit his web site at Barrygoldstein.net

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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Domestic Violence 20/20 News

MOMMY GO BYE BYE- THE CUSTODY JUDGE, A "KEY ABUSE COLLABORATOR"

THE CUSTODY JUDGE, A "KEY ABUSE COLLABORATOR"

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---J U S T I C E   W A N T E D ---

BLOGGING ON THE BENCH, THE BAR, BARRATRY, BEDLAM AND BOYCOTTS FROM THE PLACE IN NORTHERN VIRGINIA WHERE FIT-LOVING-NONOFFENDING MOTHERS BEAT UP BY LOW CALIBER JUDGES TEAM UP TO TAKE THEM DOWN, AND OUT...

...We are not complaining, in this place, about a simple problem of discrimination against women in litigation. From this place, we are cautioning the public about a serious situation of maltreatment of women in litigation when these women are mothers. ~Veronique W.

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"IF SO, WHAT DOES THAT RELATIONSHIP LOOK LIKE?" -ERIC HOLDER*

"If so, what does that relationship look like?" -Eric Holder*

*Former judge on the Superior Court of the District of Columbia (Photograph clickable)

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A BLOG MADE POSSIBLE BY VIRGINIA'S CHISELING TWO-BIT JUDICIARY

Listen to '08 Speech that Took Out Judge Finch & '09 Speech that Took Down Judge Wiggins-Lyles YOUR VOICE CAN MATTER TOO IN DECEMBER OF 2010!!No custody judge in Virginia should expect to get away with behaving like a bully. PERIOD.

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“A COURT WHERE MOMS RULE.” -ANN GERHART*

“A court where moms rule.” -Ann Gerhart*

*Commentary appearing Sunday, May 16, 2010, Outlook section, Washington Post (Photograph clickable)

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PEACEFUL RALLY 7 JUNE 2010 AUSTIN

Be There: Travis County Courthouse June 7th and Becky Beaver: Why does she represent Brooklyn’s father?

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MOTHER'S DAY 2010 AT THE WHITE HOUSE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Peaceful Silent Vigil at The White House in Washington DC on 9 May 2010 Mother’s Day. ...A cottage industry of mental health professionals and attorneys with cozy relationships with family court judges routinely bankrupt families with enormous court-ordered fees and often recommend that children be placed with their sexually or physically abusive fathers. Family court judges frequently ignore evidence of abuse, refuse to hear direct testimony from the children, and rubberstamp their cronies’ recommendations. Nurturing mothers are forced to pay costly fees to attend supervised visits with the children they raised, watching helplessly as their children continue to report abuse by their abusers to uncaring visitation monitors. Mothers who speak out about system failure often face judicial retaliation and lose what little time they have with their children. The unregulated cottage industry churns away, generating hundreds of thousands of dollars in fees to experts, while some of the worst cases settle only when the children turn 18. This is a national epidemic that is destroying families across America.

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THE CUSTODY JUDGE, A "KEY ABUSE COLLABORATOR"

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J U S T I C E . . W A N T E D .